Comelec’s Impeccable Use Of Time!

The Commission on Elections (Comelec), in its infinite wisdom and impeccable time management, has once again proven that its priorities are as clear as mud. Instead of swiftly addressing blatant campaign violations—like candidates practically throwing money at voters like it’s a game of Pera o Bayong—it has decided that the best use of its resources is to educate a noon-time variety show contestant about its role. Because, obviously, the fate of our democratic process hinges on whether a clueless TV personality finally understands what Comelec does.

Meanwhile, reports of vote-buying are piling up like uncounted ballots, and campaign violations are waved off with all the urgency of a turtle on vacation. But hey, at least we can all sleep soundly knowing that one more lost soul now knows that Comelec is not a brand of tissue paper. Priorities, right?

The “Art” Of Public Polling

Public polling in the Philippines is less of a science and more of an interpretative dance—fluid, subjective, and open to wild improvisation. We all understand the margin of error, that sacred ±3% that statisticians invoke like a magic spell. But when one survey shows a candidate leading by 15 points and another has them trailing by 10, you start to wonder: Are they measuring voter preference or reading tea leaves?

One might suspect that some pollsters have discovered a revolutionary new mathematics, where numbers bend to political affiliations. Is the goal to reflect public sentiment or to manufacture it? Are they informing the electorate or just setting the stage for the next twist in our telenovela-style politics?

At this point, survey results are like horoscopes—people just believe the ones that favor them. Maybe polling firms should start including lucky numbers and love advice to complete the experience.

DDS Bloggers: The Art Of Dodging Accountability

Ah, the art of dodging accountability—DDS bloggers have truly perfected it. Post some wild, unverified claim? No problem! Just slap on a “this is not a news article” disclaimer and—poof!—instant protection from facts, logic, and libel laws.

MJ Quiambao and her peers have mastered this loophole, feeding their audience a buffet of half-truths, conspiracy theories, and creative fiction, all while saying, “Oops, not a journalist! Just sharing what I heard!”

It’s the digital equivalent of throwing a grenade and yelling, “But I’m not a soldier!” Or serving expired food and saying, “This is not a restaurant!” Meanwhile, their fans eat it all up, because, apparently, disclaimers turn nonsense into gospel truth.

And let’s not forget Tio Moreno’s legendary “based on what we’ve heard”—the perfect excuse for spreading chismis on a national scale. Journalism? No need! Who needs facts when you have vibes and viral engagement?

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