by Maria Bratikova
Of course, the buck stops “here.”
Like we blame Marcos for everything.
It‘s always convenient to have a whipping boy.
Jo Koy did good. But the ho (is gretchen?) is perfect.
If, and i say “if” Jo Koy really wasted an opportunity,
it only means he had an opportunity to squander.
Opportunities (multiples, dear, multiplied multiples)
are now breaking his door down.
And ho?
Who knows the ho?
Going off the main bone to nag, she smiles
bigger and I’d be seeing her panties through
her choppers! Did the ball knock the back of
her head when playing ball and shot her set
of choppers bunny-like? The overbite. . .
Oh never mind, let‘s just offer masters and doctorates
on Swift in our universities.
In the grand circus of media bias, SMNI News prances around like a flamboyant peacock, proudly displaying its lack of subtlety.
The network, often mistaken for a parody of journalistic integrity, seems to have mistaken the “N” in SMNI for “Nepotism.” With a founder who treats neutrality like a distant cousin and news anchors who practically genuflect to their boss on air, SMNI is the epitome of a news outlet with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
The lineup of hosts reads like a who’s who of partisanship, featuring luminaries such as Ka Eric, who presumably majored in “Echo Chamber Studies,” and Lorraine Badoy, the poster child for unbiased reporting (if you’re into fiction). Meanwhile, Rodrigo Duterte and Harry Roque complete the ensemble, ensuring that any semblance of objectivity is squashed under the weight of vested interests.
For those seeking the unicorn of journalistic neutrality, it’s advisable to broaden your horizons. Remember, relying solely on SMNI for unbiased news is like expecting a chocolate fountain at a diet convention – a sweet but unrealistic dream.
The Adobo Chronicles 
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