2014 WINTER OLYMPICS MOVED TO HAWAII

July 24, 2013 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Lausanne, Switzerland – Amid mounting pressure from human rights organizations that have condemned Russia’s escalating crackdown on homosexuality, the International Olympic Committee today decided to move the 2014 Winter Olympics from Sochi, Russia, to Honolulu, Hawaii. The dates remain unchanged, February 7-23, 2014.

The IOC reached the decision as more and more sponsors like VISA, Coca-Cola, McDonald’s and Samsung, started withdrawing their financial support for the international sports event, in protest of Russia’s homophobic stance.

IOC officials, speaking at a hastily-convened press conference after a whirlwind visit to Honolulu over the weekend, said that only a world-class destination like Hawaii can pull off preparations for the Winter Olympics in such short notice. Instead of building an Olympic Village, Honolulu will provide tents and outdoor showers for all athletes and delegation members from participating countries. Honolulu will cordon off 5 miles of Waikiki beach for this purpose.

The Blaisdell Arena will serve as the main venue for all the indoor sports events. It can easily accommodate an Olympic-sized ice rink, of course using artificial ice. All outdoor events will be held at the Diamond Head Volcano which will be fully covered with artificial snow.

Honolulu mayor Kirk Caldwell promises the most spectacular opening ceremony in the history of the Winter Olympics, saying that he has enlisted the participation of all the hula halaus and surfing clubs in the entire Rainbow State. Instead of a closing ceremony, Caldwell said that Honolulu will host the largest luau Hawaii has ever seen. “It will be one for the Guinness Book of World Records,” he added.

Film and TV, International

CHANGE IN OSCAR AWARDS VENUE ANNOUNCED

July 23, 2013 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Hollywood, California – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences today announced that the 2014 Oscar Awards Night has been moved to a new venue. And it is not in Hollywood, but in the Philippines. In an email alert to members of the Hollywood Press Association, the Academy said that because of the importance of the red carpet ceremonies which precede the handing out of the Oscar statuettes to the best of the best in the film industry, it needed to find a venue that can host the all-important “who are you wearing?” pre-festivities. And host it well. The Academy also wanted an international group of fashion police since it’s tired of the aging Joan Rivers and the “E!” anchors and reporters.

Members of the Academy board made the decision after viewing the State of the Nation Address (SONA) by Philippine President Noynoy Aquino at the Batasang Pambansa (National Assembly building) last Monday. The almost two-hour speech (the equivalent of the U.S. State of the Union Address), was preceded by the usual fashion parade of politicians, their spouses and other invited celebrities and guests. This year’s SONA red carpet was extremely sensational as attendees donned the best creations of the country’s top designers, jewelers and shoemakers. Designs ranged from flowing ternos (the national dress) and hand-painted barong tagalogs (the national male formal attire) to rainbow-colored, ethnic-inspired gowns and floor-length dangling earrings.

The morning after front page coverage of all the major dailies highlighted the fashion extravaganza while relegating the text of Aquino’s speech to their B-2 sections.

“The Philippines sure knows how to stage an elaborate red carpet,” the Academy noted, adding that the change in venue from Hollywood to Quezon City, will ensure a billion or more worldwide viewers of the televised Oscar ceremonies.

Politics

OBAMA VOWS TO REDUCE PORK BARREL SPENDING

July 22, 2013 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Washington, D.C. – Facing criticism for the country’s turtle-paced recovery from the recession and continued budget woes that put him in a never-ending fierce battle with Republican legislators, President Barack Obama today vowed to use all available powers bestowed upon the presidency to significantly reduce pork barrel spending. U.S. legislators have consistently used pet projects in their constituent areas as a negotiating tool in federal budget battles. The most memorable pork barrel projects were Alaska’s “Bridge to Nowhere,” and Boston’s Big Dig (Central Artery/Tunnel Project).

Asked by members of the White House Press Corps about specifics of his plan, President Obama said he will propose to Congress a new legislation that would limit the U.S. government’s importation of Ibérico pork. The Ibérico pig is an indigenous species that is only found in the Iberian peninsula. The superb quality of the meat from the Ibérico pig is brought about by the climate, its freedom to roam outdoors and its diet. It is often fed on acorns which gives the meat its wonderful nutty flavor. The price of Ibérico pork commands a very high price in the world market, costing as much as $100 per pound, or approximately $20,000 per barrel. The U.S. Department of Agriculture did not return calls from The Adobo Chronicles seeking information on how many barrels of the pork the country imports each year from Spain.

Apparently, only Ibérico pork is served in the basement cafeterias of the Senate and House of Representatives Buildings on Capitol Hill, as well as during state banquets hosted by the White House. President Obama urged Congress to swiftly pass his proposed legislation cutting down on pork barrel importation. “I am confident we can pass this legislation in a bi-partisan manner,” the President added.