CNN WANTS WEED NAMED AFTER THE NETWORK

August 24, 2013 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Denver, Colorado – A recent segment on CNN is causing quite a stir in the Cannabis world. But it is not most people would think.

In a recent special report, CNN’s chief medical correpondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta, whose name was once floated as a candidate for the country’s Surgeon General position, indicated that he has changed his earlier position on medical marijuana. Gupta said he now believes that MJ has its medical uses and can bring grams and grams of relief to individuals suffering from chronic and untreatable conditions.

The Helping Hands Dispensary in Colorado was so elated over the CNN report that it named one of its marijuana strains after Gupta. It started selling the strain under the name, “Sanjay Gupta Kush.”

Upon learning of this move by the marijuana dispensary, CNN called the owner expressing its displeasure about the Gupta Kush.

“CNN was visibly very upset, demanding that we drop the name,” the owner said. The Atlanta-based cable news network threatened to sue the dispensary unless it changed the name of the strain to “CNN Kush.”

“After all, the report was broadcast on CNN,” the network told the owner. Besides, CNN added, “we need all the publicity we can get in view of our declining ratings, not to mention the new competition we are getting from the newly-launched news cable network, Al Jazeera America.”

Film and TV, Music

MADONNA TO PLAY A WITCH IN FILM REMAKE

August 24, 2013 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Rome, Italy – The news and social media were abuzz with photos of and comments about Madonna’s grill. Not the barbecue grill, but the dental grill. The 55 year-old diva shocked reporters and her fans after she was photographed in Rome wearing a grill, some kind of teeth jewelry resembling that of dental braces.

Many fans were visibly upset upon seeing her photos on the Internet. “She looks like a wicked witch,” a fan exclaimed.

Well, the fan is actually right. It turns out that Madonna is producing a new film, a remake of “The Wizard Of Oz,” in which she will play role of the wicked witch.

Unlike the original verson of the classic film, the remake will be filmed not in Kansas, but in Italy. “We won’t have any difficulty filming the yellow brick road scenes here in Italy, given the abundance of cobblestone roads in the country,” Madonna said.

She asked her fans to keep calm about her new look. “The grill easily comes off, like my earrings,” she said.

In the meantime, Wall Street is reporting that dental and jewelry-related stock prices have more than doubled since the Madonna photos were posted on the Internet. Many parents were also complaining that their young daughters have all of a sudden demanded to be fitted with gold braces.

Business, Film and TV

CNN TO ACQUIRE ENTERTAINMENT CHANNEL

August 23, 2013 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

Atlanta, Georgia – Cable News Network (CNN) has announced that it is acquiring the E (Entertainment) Channel and that it is transitioning out of its normal news content. The announcement came just days after Al Jazeera America debuted on U.S. television sets beginning Tuesday this week. CNN was apparently threatened by the Qatar-owned international news network that boasts of news bureaus around the world, from the Philippines to South Africa. Al Jazeera America promised news programming that is less sensational, less opinionated, more in-depth and more accurate.

CNN’s top officials acknowledged that the network cannot compete with the resources and talent that is being brought into the American market by Al Jazeera television. Additionally ratings after ratings show that the number of CNN viewers in the U.S. have declined over the years, claiming only half the viewership of FOX News which maintains its lead over all the other cable news networks. CNN is second in ratings, followed by Headline News (HLN) and MSNBC.

On the other hand, CNN has found its niche in entertainment television, as shown by its recent coverage of the George Zimmerman trial and the wait for the arrival of England’s Royal baby. The network’s ratings also went up each time it covered celebrity gossips — from Lindsay Lohan to Justin Bieber. CNN also admitted that its political pundits and so-called experts are getting a bit old and tired of doing the same thing, 24 hours a day.

By purchasing the E Channel, CNN expects to recover from its financial losses and gain monopoly of big-time advertisers that usually support Hollywood-type content. CNN is also expected to eventually phase out its sister network, HLN.