Sara Vs. Bongbong: Sarcasm Lost In Translation

April 4, 2025 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

VP Sara Duterte recently claimed that President Bongbong Marcos didn’t understand her sarcasm when she “thanked” him for the chance to reconcile with her dad, Rodrigo Duterte.

Irony alert: what she missed was that Marcos’ response—“Glad I could help”—was peak sarcasm in itself. It was like two shady titans of politics having a duel using deadpan wit and passive-aggressive smiles, but both were using sarcasm as their second language… and failing the translation.

It’s a classic case of “sarcasm lost in transmission”—a political sitcom where no one gets the joke. Sara thought she was being slick, Marcos thought he was being slicker, and the rest of us are just here for the popcorn.

In the end, it’s not so much a reconciliation as it is a duel of dry delivery. If this continues, we’ll need subtitles just to follow their press statements. Or maybe a sarcasm interpreter at Malacañang or the Office of the VP.

Malcolm Conlan: Adobo Chronicles’ “Man Of The Year!”

April 3, 2025 Pol Pinoy 1 Comment

In a unanimous decision, our esteemed Board of Directors has selected Malcolm Conlan for the prestigious title of Man of the Year. Not for his achievements, mind you, but for his relentless dedication to the art of unsolicited open letters.

From Donald Trump and King Charles, to the Emir of Qatar, and now President Bongbong Marcos, Conlan continues to pen heartfelt pleas—most of which go straight to the digital void. His expertise? A Filipina wife.

His legacy? A flood of online petitions no one asked for — clueless and annoying at best.

Congratulations, Malcolm! Your keyboard must be exhausted.

Senator Chiz Escudero Vs. The English Language: A Constitutional Crisis

April 2, 2025 Pol Pinoy Leave a comment

(Melchor Vergara contributed to this report)

In a shocking turn of events, Senator Chiz Escudero has declared war—not on corruption, poverty, or political dynasties—but on the English language.

At the heart of this linguistic scandal is the word “forthwith,”which the good senator claims is to blame for the delay in VP Sara Duterte’s impeachment trial. His demand? That the Constitution should have used “immediately” instead, as if the fate of the nation hangs on a vocabulary choice.

One might wonder: has Chiz ever met a dictionary? Or, dare we say, Google? Because a five-second search would have told him that forthwith and immediately mean the same thing. But no—why fact-check when you can blame dead constitutional framers instead?

Perhaps next, Escudero will argue that ASAP should be enshrined in our laws, just to make sure no senator ever gets confused again. Until then, we wish him a swift (forthwith? immediately?) enlightenment.