Move Over, Russian Vaccine, Here Comes Filipino Vetsin!

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – After touting the impending availability of a Russian vaccine against Covid-19, the Philippines’ Inter-Agency Task Force (IATF) on Emerging Infectious Diseases today announced that the sought-after shot to prevent coronavirus infection could actually be found and mass-produced in the country.

”We may have one for the Guinness Book of World Records,” Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque said today.

Secret clinical trials have been going in at the University of the Philippines in Diliman, Quezon City, exploring the safety and efficacy of a locally-produced Vetsin  (Monosodium Glutamate, or MSG) in preventing infection with Covid-19.

It all began with previous suggestions that gargling with warm water and salt as well as resorting to “tuob” (inhalation of steam from hot water and salt) could prevent Covid infection. (MSG contains a significant amount of salt).

IATF said that the local Food and Drug Administration could approve the new, and possibly the very first, vaccine by the middle of September. And did we already mention inexpensive?

We heal as one.  Vetsin for Covid-19  coming soon to a sari-sari store near you!

Health Secretary Duque: “We Have Fattened The Curve!”

Health Secretary Francisco Duque III and World Health Organization Rabindra Abeyasinghe confirm the first case of Novel Coronavirus in the country during press briefing in Manila on January 30, 2020. The first case is a 38 year-old woman from Wuhan, China who travel via Hongkong to Manila.
Photo by Inoue Jaena/Rappler

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Department of Health Secretary Francisco Duque may have something that could redeem his tarnished reputation resulting from the PhilHealth mess. (A Senate committee report has recommended that criminal charges be filed against Duque and others for alleged graft and corruption.)

Today, Duque, who co-chairs the Inter-Agency Task Force (IATF) on Emerging Infectious Diseases, announced that the Philippines, under his able leadership, has fattened the curve after almost six months of lockdowns in connection with the Covid-19 pandemic.

Speaking with The Adobo Chronicles, Duque said that the foresight and continued efforts to impose various levels of community quarantine has resulted in Filipinos gaining weight because of the lack of exercise, mobility and nutritious food.

“Weighing scale numbers and BMIs (Body Mass Index) have shot off the roof,” the Secretary said, adding that “this only shows that the government has done the right thing to combat the coronavirus.

In the latest Senate hearing, Duque told the legislators that the reason he was unable to monitor the financial mess at PhilHealth was because he was very busy with his tasks at DOH and the IATF.

”I hope that with this fattening of the curve” I will be exonerate me from the allegations lodged against me regarding PhilHealth,” Duque said.

 

Karen Davila’s New Gig: BINGO Caller?

QUEZON CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – One by one, ABS-CBN’s news staff are leaving the defunct network and moving to new gigs at former rival TV and radio stations, the latest of whom is TV Patrol anchor Ted Failon who is moving to TV 5.

This makes Karen Davila, who has been holding out hope that the Kapamilya network will eventually reopen, assuring her a complete return to her anchoring duties, really sad.

Rumors have been going around in circles that Davila has signed a contract with the Philippine Amusement and Gaming Corporation (PAGCOR) to be its lead BINGO caller when the gaming parlors reopen in the very near future.  Specifically, she is said to be assigned to BINGO Bonanza, located at the Mega Mall in Mandaluyong.

Davila has denied the rumors. She told The Adobo Chronicles that her preference would be to remain full time on TV, and her professional goal is to be the No. 1 news anchor not only in the Philippines but in the whole of Southeast Asia.  “No offense meant to our senior citizens who frequent the BINGO parlors nationwide,” she said.

Under B… 1… uno.  No. 1 news anchor…

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