imageLaguna, Philippines – A tale of two women. Former Philippine president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Janet Lim-Napoles. Both in detention, one in a government hospital in Manila and the other in a special bungalow suite inside a military compound in Santa Rosa, Laguna, south of the Philippine capital.

Arroyo is under hospital arrest for corruption and plunder charges committed while she was president while Napoles is the suspected mastermind of a multi-billion peso pork barrel scam which siphoned taxpayer money into phony non-governmental organizations .

This week, lawmakers aligned with President Noynoy Aquino demanded that both women be transferred to a regular jail to dispel suspicions that they were being given special treatment despite the gravity of the charges against them.

However, for security reasons, Aquino came up with a compromise. Arroyo will be transferred to Napoles’ bungalow in Santa Rosa. In other words, the women will be roommates.

One question remains: which woman will take the bedroom and which will take the couch?



imageCampbell, California- Today, The Adobo Chronicles  received a threatening email from someone claiming to be a representative of Rose Fostanes, the Filipina caregiver who won the first season of X Factor Israel . “Ofer” threatened to sue us if we do not “erase” our story on Fostanes’ winning the Israeli Lottery.

Here’s our response:

Dear Ofer,

Thank you for taking the time to read and react to our story about Rose Fostanes winning the Israeli Lottery.

At the outset, please know that we are a fan of Fostanes.  We have followed her path from being a caregiver to becoming the Filipino Susan Boyle. Filipinos the world over are truly proud of her, as are we.

We were pissed when we first learned that Fostanes could not be paid as a performer/singer in Israel because her work permit only allowed her to earn income from being a caregiver.  We rejoiced when the Israeli goverment bent its rules and allowed Fostanes to get paid for her recording contracts and concerts going forward. We even think The Adobo Chronicles had something to do with the Israeli government’s change of heart (okay, that may be giving ourselves too much credit).

You claim to represent Fostanes and threatened to sue us if we do not “erase” our published story. If you are indeed a legitimate representative of Fostanes, we say “bring it on!”

However we have a few requests:

1. Please read up on “satire ,” “parody” and FOI (do you even know what it stands for?)

2. Don’t just read our stories on Fostanes. Read our entire news site, especially the “About” page.  Maybe it will help you chill quite a bit.

3. Lastly, if you will be so kind as to mail us an “eraser” from Office Depot or Staples, we will be so ever appreciative because honestly, we stopped using erasers 20 years ago.

P.S. Have you ever considered joining the Spelling Bee?  Or just install autocorrect on the DOS program on your computer for heavens sake.


The Adobo Chronicles Editorial Board


Two presidents: Indonesia, left and Philippines, right
Two presidents: Indonesia, left and Philippines, right

Manila, Philippines –  Indonesia’s president, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, shocked  his Muslim nation this week by revealing that he believes in witchcraft – something that is prohibited in Islam. The revelation came in the form of Yudhoyono’s 900-page  memoir titled “Selalu Ada Pilihan” (There is Always a Choice).

Not to be outdone (and which Filipino would be?), Philippine President NoyNoy Aquino today announced that he  believes in witch-hunt. His announcement came during a regular press conference held for members of the Malacañang (the equivalent of The U.S. White House) press corps.

Aquino’s revelation came as no surprise to his political enemies who have long accused him of engaging in witch-hunt against them – “them” meaning the Marcoses, the Macapagal-Arroyos, the Romualdezes, and the senators, representatives, governors and mayors who don’t belong to his Liberal Party.

“There is nothing in the Philippine Constitution that prohibits witch-hunt,” Aquino said, adding that “in fact, the word is never mentioned in the fundamental law of the land.”

(Presidential Spokesperson Edwin Lacierda contributed to this report.)

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