THE SECESSIONIST MOVEMENT IN THE U.S. MAINLAND

Aboard Air Force One — We all remember the months leading up to the 2012 U.S. Presidential Elections when several states threatened to secede from the United States if Obama were re-elected president.  We all know what happened in the elections, but whatever happened to the secessionists? To this day, the secessionist movement has not died down and its proponents are still trying the gather enough signatures on their petitions to grant their respective states — Alabama, Texas and Florida — independence from the Union.

It now appears that the Obama administration is preparing for the inevitable secession by inviting renowned cartographers (people who draw maps) on the President’s occasional trips across the U.S. Mainland.  Confidential sources tell The Adobo Chronicles that no flight of  Air Force One is without cartographers, especially if the flight route includes Florida, Texas and Alabama.

In a leaked document which the National Security Administration seemed to have failed to stop, a “pre-emptive” map of the U.S. Mainland, drawn by the cartographers shows the U.S. Mainland without Florida and Texas.  President Obama was reportedly amused at how the map looks like without the two states.  The same confidential sources indicated that a second map found within the leaked document shows the U.S. Mainland without the state of Alabama, along with Texas and Florida.  The Adobo Chronicles was, however, unable to obtain a copy of the second map.  But here is the first map:

mapoIn a related development, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) told the media he is standing by an aide, Jack Hunter, who is known for his pro-secession and pro-Confederate stance.  Paul’s comments follow a report from the conservative Washington Free Beacon about Hunter, who joined Paul’s office as social media director in 2012. Hunter worked with Paul on the 2011 book The Tea Party Goes to Washington. In his 20s, Hunter was the chairman of the League of the South, a group that “advocates the secession and subsequent independence of the Southern State from this forced union and the formation of a Southern republic,” according to the Free Beacon report.

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FOX ANNOUNCES NEW REALITY SHOW “THE FACE”

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Update: Facing the threat of a potential lawsuit, FOX just announced it was changing the name of the show to “Face It,” because a similar reality show on the Oxygen Network already has that title. The Oxygen show, produced by model Naomi Campbell, is a modeling competition where contestants compete to be “the face” of a national brand.

New York — Jealous of NBC’s highly successful reality TV show, “The Voice,” FOX network today announced the launch of a new reality show called “The Face.”

Based largely on the same concept as “The Voice,” the new FOX series is a beauty competition that starts  with “blind auditions.”  Celebrity judges will be sitting on chairs facing the audience. Contestants will come on stage and deliver a 30-second speech.  Judges will then try to imagine how the contestants look like totally based on their speech and choose or not to choose to press their chair buttons that will turn their chairs around.

Contestants who get a vote or several votes from the judges will then choose which of the judges will coach them on beauty, poise and personality going into the public voting stage of the show. Twelve finalists will be chosen to face public voting  and elimination via phone or text.

The celebrity judges are Donald Trump, owner of the Miss Universe Pageant Corporation; Tyra Banks, producer of the TV show, “America’s Top Model;” CNN Anchor Anderson Cooper; and  Television host Ellen Degeneres.

Asked what viewers will take away from this reality show, FOX said, “The window to one’s beauty – both external and internal — is the mouth.”

MISS PHILIPPINES’ STUNNING EVENING GOWN FOR THIS YEAR’S MISS UNIVERSE PAGEANT

imageLas Vegas, Nevada — This year’s Miss Universe Pageant will be held on November 9 in Moscow.  The crowning ceremonies will be at the Crocus City Hall.

This year’s pageant will see not one, but three contestants of Filipino heritage: Miss Philippines Ariella Arida, Miss Canada Riza Santos, and Miss Gabon, Ruth Jennifer Ondo Mouchita.

The Miss Universe organization issued new rules this week.  The contestant who wins in the Best Evening Gown competition will be exempted from the final question. It is common knowledge that many frontrunners in the pageant end up losing the crown because of not-so-smart answers to the final question asked of the top five finalists.

The last three years saw the Philippines so close to winning the coveted crown, so the Binibining Pilipinas  Charities, franchise holder of the Miss Philippines Universe Pageant,  is leaving no stone unturned to win the crown this year.  The  Charities has commissioned a top Filipino designer to design the eveninng gown of Miss Philippines to ensure that she is exempted from the final question.

Aware that Pageant owner Donald Trump has a hand in deciding the Best in Evening Gown winner, the Filipino designer came up with a design that incorporates the Trump Tower in Las Vegas.  The designer said that  Miss Arida, whose features are a cross between Beyonce and Nicole Scherzinger of Pussycat Dolls, will look stunning in this never before seen gown.

The Adobo Chronicles wishes Miss Arida  the best of luck!

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