I was visiting a friend at his house when he asked me why I was speaking very softly.

I said I was afraid that Mark Zuckerberg was listening.

My friend laughed.

I laughed.

Siri laughed.

Alexa laughed.

Even Waze whom I forgot to switch off laughed.

My friend and I both clapped. The lights turned off!

The next day, I shared my experience on Facebook and Twitter. My account was suspended for violating community standards!

Google’s selective search criteria have reached new heights of absurdity. Imagine typing “Berting Labra, the late Filipino actor and comedian,” and being greeted not by his image, but by a photo of Jake Zyrus, formerly known as Charice Pempengco. Why? Because some netizen decided a comparison was in order. It’s like Google overheard a drunk conversation at a bar and decided it was fact.

Meanwhile, a search for Rodrigo Duterte, famously dubbed “The Punisher,” brings up Marvel’s brooding antihero instead of the tough-talking ex-president.

Is this a glitch, or has Google’s algorithm developed a wicked sense of humor? Either way, it’s clear that if you’re looking for reliable information, you might be better off consulting a crystal ball. Google’s search engine seems to be operating on the principle that any connection, no matter how tenuous or misguided, is worth highlighting.