Santa Clara, California – America’s three major sports leagues have jointly issued guidelines for singers invited to sing the “Star-Spangled Banner,” or “God Bless America” during sports events. Meeting in Santa Clara, California, future home of the San Francisco 49ers, the National Football League, National Basketball Association and Major League Baseball all agreed to strictly abide by the new rules.
The rules were drawn up following recent controversies that involved Latino singers invited to sing at major sports events: 11-year old Mariachi singer Sebastien De La Cruz and Jennifer Lopez’s ex-husband Marc Anthony.
De La Cruz sang the U.S. National Anthem at Game 3 of the NBA playoff series between the San Antonio Spurs and Miami Heat while Anthony sang “God Bless America” at an All-Star Major League Baseball game. Both performances were condemned by U.S. nationalists for what they called “singing American while being Latino.” Both singers, of course, are U.S. citizens and are as American as apple pie.
In crafting the new guidelines, the major leagues wanted to make sure that they are not perceived as being racists, so they proposed a basic, core language for the guidelines, as follows:
“Any singer who rolls his or her ‘Rs’ will not be allowed to perform at the games.”
The Union representing singers and performers immediately sent a memo to all its members advising them to practice saying and singing the words, “America,” “Broad Stripes and Bright Stars,” “Perilous Fight,” “ramparts ” etc. and to do so with a “twang.”
Las Vegas, Nevada – The Miss Universe Organization has announced that NBA Hall of Famer Dennis Rodman will be among the celebrity judges at the forthcoming Miss Universe Pageant to be held in Moscow, Russia. The famous basketball player, who most recently shocked the world by his personal meeting with North Korean president Kim Jong Eun, will be the first-ever crossdresser to judge the pageant. Pageant officials requested that Rodman come dressed as a woman.
The announcement came just days after American television host Andy Cohen said that he was not going to fulfill his duties this year as co-emcee of the pageant, because of the anti-gay laws recently passed in Russia. Cohen is openly gay.
Donald Trump, owner of the Miss Universe Pageant said that since the organization has recently allowed transgender contestants to participate in the pageant, it just makes sense to also have a crossdresser as a member of the judging panel.
Rodman has not returned calls from The Adobo Chronicles which wanted to find out who is designing the NBA star’s gown for the final night telecast.
Russian officials were silent on the issue of whether Rodman will be subject to arrest if he attends the pageant dressed as a woman.
Lausanne, Switzerland – Coming under intense pressure from participating countries in the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, the International Olympics Committee (IOC) today made a stunning announcement that no one had ever anticipated.
International sentiment has been growing each day since news of the Russian government’s crackdown on homosexuality in what was once part of the Sovet Union first broke out. This government crackdown was prompted by recent draconian laws that make the promotion of the homosexual lifestyle within Russian borders not only illegal but subject to the persecutional whims of the police and military.
Concerned about potential boycotts by Olympic teams from a huge number of countries, the IOC issued an unprecedented ruling that involves a mandatory attire for all athletes, delegates and media representatives attending the winter games.
The IOC ruling requires all athletes, delegates and media representatives to wear a special official jacket during the games’ opening and closing ceremonies, and throughout the 17-day competitions. The official jacket features the colors of the gay rainbow flag , emblazoned with the Olympic rings logo (see photo).
Russian president Vladimir Putin has not issued any statement in reaction to the IOC announcement.
You must be logged in to post a comment.