Category Archives: Social Media

Maharlika Was Lost, But Is Now Found

In the riveting saga of Maharlika Bodjakera’s disappearing act, it seems she possesses the magical ability to elude warrants and summonses faster than a politician can flip-flop on promises. 

When faced with a warrant in Pasig, she vanished into thin air, leaving authorities scratching their heads like confused chickens. However, the plot thickens as a Filipino designer, fed up with the fashion faux pas of defamation, throws a summons her way – only to find Maharlika comfortably sipping coconut water in Los Angeles. It appears her location has been as hard to pin down as a straight answer in a political debate.

One can’t help but marvel at the cosmic irony: a woman who dodges legal proceedings with the grace of a ninja is effortlessly unmasked by a designer seeking justice for sartorial sins. 

In this bizarro world where courtrooms and catwalks collide, Maharlika’s newfound address unveils itself, proving that when it comes to hide-and-seek, she’s the reigning champion.

Introducing: People’s Republic Of Mindanao

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Population: 27,021,036

Capital: Davao City

Form of Government: Patriarchal Monarchy

Head of State: Rodrigo Roa Duterte

Exclusive! Adobo Chronicles’ Interview With Senator Imee Marcos

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(We chanced upon Senator Imee Marcos at a luncheon hosted by former President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, and she graciously agreed to a one-on-one interview.  Here is the exchange:)

AC: Naimbag nga malem yo, Manang Imee.

IM: Kasta met kenka. Dios ti agngina iti inted mo nga libro ti Adobo Chronicles. Maysa ak nga top fan.

AC: Anya ti makunam idyay imbaga ni Baste Duterte nga ag-resign kuma ni Apo Bongbong Marcos.

IM: Hmmm. Ammon meten dagiti millennial.  Sao da nga sao, ngem awan sense iti ibag-baga da.

AC: Kunam kano nga nag-sorry ni Baste kenyam, ngem kunana, nag-sorry isuna gapo ta  maasyan isuna kenka.

IM: Ay kasta? Ipulong ko isuna kenni Sara. 

AC: Mas ay-ayatem kadi ni Baste wenno ni Bongbong nga kabsat mo?

IM: Haan met a.  Ngem, masapol ko dagiti Duterte gapo ta tumarayak iti pagka-senador itoy umay nga 2025.

AC:  Nu agpili ka kenni Sara wenno ni Bongbong, sino ti pilyem?

IM:  Siyempre ni Bongbong nga kabsat ko.  Pabuya lang amin daytoy.

AC: Artista ka nga usto.

IM: Shhhh. Haan ka nga agtagari!

(End of interview)