Category Archives: Politics

TEA PARTY PROPOSES LEGISLATION TO OUTLAW POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

imageWashington D.C. – The Washington Redskins.  Sushi chef Halloween costume. A Michigan-based punk band named Crucifucks. And now, Katy Perry’s American Music Awards performance. The Tea Party has had it. It thinks political correctness in the U.S. has gone over the top.

At an emergency meeting this morning, the Tea Party faction of the Republican Party proposed a legislation that would permanently outlaw any form of political correctness in this country. “We need to banish ‘PC’ from the face of the earth,” a Tea Party statement said, adding that ” political correctness is bad for business and is inconsistent with the American mantra of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Can anyone ever have free speech?”

The last straw for the Tea Party legislators came last night after the televised opening number by Katy Perry at the American Music Awards. She performed the song “Unconditionally” dressed in traditional Geisha dress — except for the slits– surrounded by similarly -clad dancers waving  giant fans and twirling paper umbrellas.

Twitterworld was immediately bombarded with cries of “racism” and “utter insensitivity.” Not all comments were negative, though. One Japanese twitterer said, “I am not offended.  In fact I am honored! Katy loves Japan and the Japanese people love her.”

The proposed legislation is scheduled to be filed when Congress reconvenes after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. This gives everyone one last chance to post or tweet offensive turkey jokes.

FILIPINO CONGRESSMAN PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY AMERICAN

American Brandon Rios punches Filipino Congressman Manny Pacquiao
American Brandon Rios punches Filipino Congressman Manny Pacquiao

PACQUIAO EYES PHILIPPINE PRESIDENCY, SETS CAMPAIGN PLATFORM

Pacquiao with The Adobo Chronicles publisher (foreground)
Pacquiao with The Adobo Chronicles publisher (foreground)

Macau, China – Filipino world boxing champion Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao confirmed to reporters today that he has set his eyes – and fists – on the Philippine presidency when the 6-year term of incumbent president Noynoy Aquino comes to an end. Pacquiao is currently serving as a Congressman representing his hometown district of Sarangani.

Pacquiao, whose last title bout ended with him being knocked out by challenger Juan Miguel Marquez, faces Brandon Rios of the United States tonight in a title fight.

Paquiao will be the first boxer ever to run for head of state.  The Philippines has had its share of non-politicians running for elective positions.  Former president Joseph Estrada, now mayor of Manila, was a movie actor. Many Philippine legislators, provincial governors and city mayors, are also actors, entertainers and journalists.

Asked what his top priorities will be if elected president, Pacquiao said that his first order of business would be to convert the Cultural Center of the Philippines to a national karaoke center and the National Assembly Building (Batasang Pambansa) to the “Boxing Center for Asia.”  Aside from boxing, Pacquiao’s other passion is singing.

As for his chances of winning the elections, Pacquiao said he is confident that the Filipino electorate will see his honest intentions to lead the country.  “It’s definitely not about accumulating wealth, unlike many politicians.  I already have lots and lots of money.”

Pacquiao’s mother, Aling Dionisia, was apparently delighted at her son’s announcement. “I don’t mind being called Queen Mum,” she exclaimed in her native Visayan dialect.