Category Archives: Legislation

Business, Food, Law Enforcement, Legislation, Politics

A Fresh And Sparkling Opportunity For Perrier And Mico’s Fresh Buko Juice!

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Perrier and Mico’s Fresh Buko Juice have a golden marketing opportunity for their products, thanks to the hunger strike of SMNI News talents Lorraine Badoy and Ka Eric, detained at the House of Representatives.  Both were cited for contempt of Congress.

Badoy has revealed that in the course of their hunger strike, she and Ka Eric have been sustaining themselves with Perrier sparkling water and fresh buko juice.

Eager to showcase their products and social consciousness, both companies are seriously considering to seize the chance to donate cases of their beverages to the detainees.

Imagine the visual spectacle – Badoy and Ka Eric, languishing in a sea of Perrier bubbles and Buko bliss, graciously provided by these generous beverage giants. 

Forget about the mundane hunger strike launched by netizens which, with a time frame of 6pm to 12 MN sounds more like intermittent fasting for weight loss.

Shipping the refreshments to the Batasang Pambansa in Quezon City will not only boost sales but also cast the companies as benevolent saviors of the parched proletariat.

Forget netizens suggesting daily fasting support; let’s turn this into a sparkling spectacle of solidarity. After all, nothing says “we care” like sustaining a hunger strike exclusively with premium mineral water and exotic coconut juice. 

Perrier and Mico’s, your time to shine – and hydrate – has arrived!

Legislation, Politics

The Shameless, Hypocritical Representative France Castro

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ACT-Teachers Partylist Representative France Castro has taken a break from her usual role as the guardian of education to lecture Vice President Sara Duterte on the delicate dance of separation of powers. 

Castro, ever the champion of paradox, lambasts Duterte for allegedly interfering in the House of Representatives while conveniently overlooking the fact that Congress itself has pirouetted into an unwitting accomplice in the International Criminal Court’s grand ball of justice.

It’s a spectacle of hypocrisy as Castro scorns the VP for purportedly meddling in legislative affairs while Congress, with a collective shrug, hands over the keys to the ICC’s investigation into the Philippines’ war on drugs. 

Perhaps in the twisted logic of the political circus, allowing an international body to waltz into the country’s judicial affairs is not interference but a well-choreographed performance of sovereignty. 

Bravo, Congress, for your dazzling display of contorted principles and legislative somersaults.

Food, Legislation

Unli Rice Vs. Half-Cup Rice

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In a stroke of legislative genius, the Department of Agriculture is pushing for a bill that would require food establishments to offer half-cups of rice. Because nothing says “effective policy” like a throwback to the glorious era of rice rationing during the late, great Marcos administration. 

Forget tackling the root of the issue, the Department of Agriculture has identified but ignores the real threat to the nation: unlimited rice servings enticing Pinoys into restaurants. Apparently, they’ve missed the memo that not everyone wants to carb-load like they’re training for a marathon.

While some Pinoys diligently watch their glycemic index, the real heroes are the establishments encouraging rice binges. Why focus on the potential for obesity and diabetes when there’s the urgent matter of ensuring everyone gets just the right amount of rice, no more, no less? 

It’s comforting to know that in the grand hierarchy of national concerns, the rice cup size is a top priority. Because who needs sensible solutions when you can legislate rice portion control?