It is truly a marvel of investigative prowess that Vice President Sara Duterte was able to unearth the House members’ use of a script during the first OVP budget hearing. Surely, this revelation could only have been uncovered with the deft deployment of confidential funds—who knew such resources could be so…insightful? 

Yet, there’s a delicious irony here: the same VP who pointed fingers at the scripted members of Congress was herself glued to her smartphone, reading her own script. Not just once, but several times. And to think, it was a very short script, one that she couldn’t even memorize. 

Perhaps the next tranche of confidential funds could be allocated to memory training? It’s fascinating to witness such a masterclass in deflection, where the pot doesn’t just call the kettle black—it reads from its smartphone to make sure the accusation lands perfectly.

In a stunning display of “courtesy,” Congressman Rodante Marcoleta, once the gallant knight who brought ABS-CBN to its knees, has returned—this time to defend an even nobler cause: unchecked public spending by the Office of the Vice President. 

In a bold move, Marcoleta proposed that Congress, in its infinite wisdom, should skip the pesky business of asking where taxpayer money would go. After all, who needs transparency when you have “tradition” to fall back on? Never mind that the Constitution demands oversight—Marcoleta knows what’s truly important here: honoring the second highest office in the land with a blank check. Because nothing screams “good governance” like letting a public official write their own budget, no questions asked. 

If we follow Marcoleta’s logic, we might as well let tradition rule the country. Who needs laws, anyway? They’re so passé when you can just let courtesy take care of everything.