Category Archives: Law Enforcement

Maharlika Was Lost, But Is Now Found

In the riveting saga of Maharlika Bodjakera’s disappearing act, it seems she possesses the magical ability to elude warrants and summonses faster than a politician can flip-flop on promises. 

When faced with a warrant in Pasig, she vanished into thin air, leaving authorities scratching their heads like confused chickens. However, the plot thickens as a Filipino designer, fed up with the fashion faux pas of defamation, throws a summons her way – only to find Maharlika comfortably sipping coconut water in Los Angeles. It appears her location has been as hard to pin down as a straight answer in a political debate.

One can’t help but marvel at the cosmic irony: a woman who dodges legal proceedings with the grace of a ninja is effortlessly unmasked by a designer seeking justice for sartorial sins. 

In this bizarro world where courtrooms and catwalks collide, Maharlika’s newfound address unveils itself, proving that when it comes to hide-and-seek, she’s the reigning champion.

Dateline Zürich: The Faces Of Altoids

by Maria Bratikova

The Faces of Altoids

When FPRRD took fentanyl it was  prescribed,  according to some of his friendly sources. By whom — nobody’s telling.

Granted!

He himself “jokingly  claimed“ that he used opioids, the day after he admitted using – which was not jokingly, the day before. Therefore, it is  more credible that he was  slugging fentanyl. 

No footages of him slugging the cow, no prescription was presented (I didn‘t get to see any, in fact I didn‘t care cos I deemed he legally needed it!) to show people who were not taking it easy when he jokingly rectified his first admitting the use of fetanyl.

Now, here is BBM the current President,  who is neither prescribed any opioid to anybody’s knowledge (or has any one got personal knowledge of this?) nor is it  confirmed that he is using (snorting is their favourite word) any addictive substance. Nor had the present President admitted to using paracetamol!

There was a deluge of blabber about a video, there was a barrage of talk about him using feel-good powder. 

Oooh, don‘t forget the wife – they‘re supposed to be tandem — snorting when it snows at the Palace.

Would he own up? – you may, might argue. Would PDEA say so? – another argument. Both useless arguments and one should be embarrassed to even employ such to prove a point. What point?

The singular basis for  this ugly detritus of a brain work? PBBM has an imbalanced smirk, smile, grimace.

Geniuses! Give me something to work on. Some thing that sticks.

I hate drugs!

ICC Investigation: A Presumption Of Guilt From Harry Roque And Senator Ronald Bato?

In the theater of absurdity that is the defense of Rodrigo Duterte against ICC charges, it seems some key players are confusing the script. 

While the rest of us are waiting for the curtain to rise on a fair trial, former Duterte spokesperson Harry Roque and Senator Ronald “Bato” are already giving Oscar-worthy performances in presumption of guilt. It’s as if they’re rehearsing for a dystopian courtroom drama where the verdict is already written, and they’re just practicing their lines.

Roque’s preemptive doubts about Filipinos accepting their former president behind bars and Bato’s melodramatic fear of incarceration make one wonder if they’ve mistaken the courtroom for a psychic hotline. Last we checked, no convictions were handed down, no warrants issued, yet they seem to have a crystal ball that foretells an ominous future. 

Perhaps a crash course in legal basics is in order before they continue their over-the-top act of defending the indefensible.