AYUNGIN SHOAL, South China Sea (The Adobo Chronicles, Marine Bureau) – In an apparent display of goodwill and concern, China has declared that the mysterious floating barriers recently erected in the South China Sea are actually giant pool noodles designed for the safety and protection of Filipino fishermen.
According to Beijing, these colossal noodles will serve as makeshift lifebuoys in case Filipino fishing boats capsize in bad weather, ensuring that the fishermen have something to cling on to while awaiting rescue.
Critics have suggested that it’s just China’s creative way of expanding its territorial grasp while doubling as a bizarre aquatic amusement park.
Nevertheless, China’s commitment to Filipino fishermen’s safety is as clear as the South China Sea’s murky waters.
MIAMI, Florida (The Adobo Chronicles, Miami Bureau) – Former Commission on Elections (Comelec) Chief Andy Bautista is a TNT (Tago Ng Tago) no more.
Bautista, who fled the Philippines in November of 2017 to dodge charges of unexplained wealth and a subpoena issued by the Senate, has reportedly been hiding in San Francisco and other places in America all these years. The National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) has launched a search for the fugitive to no avail.
But now, the U.S. government has filed a lawsuit against Bautista for alleged money laundering! It seems Bautista’s money had quite the world tour, and Uncle Sam wants to make sure he gets his cut.
Clearly, Bautista has a unique way of making international headlines, proving that when it comes to evading the law, he’s truly a globetrotter. Who knew the “TNT” status would become so passé when you could have U.S. Immigration as your travel agent?
HONOLULU, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles, Honolulu Bureau) – In a move that has left many scratching their heads, Hawaii Governor Josh Green has declared September 21 as a state holiday to commemorate the 51st anniversary of the Marcos Martial Law in the Philippines.
In signing the Executive Order, the governor said he believes that hosting the exiled Marcos family after they were booted out of the Philippines following a popular revolt was such a boost to Hawaii’s tourism industry that it deserves its very own holiday.
Green told The Adobo Chronicles:
“Forget about honoring civil rights activists or celebrating Hawaii’s rich cultural heritage; let’s all gather ’round and raise a piña colada to the time when a dictator and his cronies sought refuge on our shores. It’s almost like saying, ‘Come to Hawaii, where even tyrants can find a tropical paradise!’”
The Adobo Chronicles 
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