Category Archives: International

International, Politics

GREAT BRITAIN LAYS CLAIM ON HAWAIIAN ISLANDS

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The Hawaiian flag
The Hawaiian flag

The Hague, Netherlands – The territorial disputes that have threatened the peace and stability of Asian countries like China, Vietnam, Indonesia and the Philippines seem to have spread to the West.

In recent months, tensions have escalated among at least seven Asian governments due to disputed claims over oil-rich islands in the South China Sea, including the Spratly Islands.

Today, Great Britain filed a formal complaint with the United Nations’ International Court of Justice (ICJ), claiming that the Hawaiian Islands rightfully belongs to the British government.  Hawaii became the 50th state of the U.S.A. in 1959. To this day, there continues to be a Hawaiian Sovereignty Movement that maintains, among other things, that the U.S. illegally overthrew the last monarchy in 1893.

The British flag
The British flag

The British argue  that the Hawaiian islands were discovered by British naval captain James Cook in 1778.  “Besides,  the original form of government in Hawaii — a monarchy -is more closely linked to that of Great Britain,” Lyal Grant, U.K. Permament Representative to the U.N., said.  “But our most compelling argument to support our claim,” Grant continued, “is the fact that the Hawaiian flag mimics that of the British flag.”

The United States has not yet issued a formal response to the British complaint.

Business, Film and TV, International

OPRAH WINFREY BUYS SWISS BOUTIQUE WITH AMEX BLACK CARD

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imageChicago, Illinois – By now, the world knows all about the incident in a Swiss boutique in which Oprah Winfrey had asked to see a $38,000 handbag, but the shop assistant refused to show it to her because it was “too expensive.”

The upscale store was identified as Trois Pommes in Zurich . The manager of the boutique, Trudie Goetz, subsequently told paparazzis that the entire incident was a “200 percent misunderstanding” and had nothing to do with racism. image

Winfrey was reportedly concerned but not upset at the incident.  To prove her point, she purchased the entire boutique using her American Express Black Centurion Card, also known as the  Amex Black Card.  It is an invitation-only charge card issued by American Express  to platinum card holders after they meet certain criteria. The company’s promotional material describes centurion members as “super-affluent high net worth individuals on a continual quest for the best and most exclusive. They own companies and frequently travel. Exceptionally discerning and style-conscious, they live vicariously through themselves. Centurion members are global players who gain truly worldwide access to the inaccessible.”

The Adobo Chronicles learned that the good-hearted Winfrey, instead of firing the shop clerk identified only as Adriana N, promoted her to assistant manager. “I am sure the incident would be a great learning moment for Adriana,” Winfrey said.

Meanwhile  a spokesperson for Winfrey denied rumors that the international celebrity bought the entire country of Switzerland. “She is super-rich, but not THAT rich,” the spokesperson said.

International, Law Enforcement

11 MILLION UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS RECEIVE U.S. GREEN CARDS

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imageWashington, D.C. – An estimated eleven million undocumented immigrants now living in the United States have started receiving notices in the mail to report to their nearest Citizenship and Immigration Services  centers for immediate processing of their green cards. While the Department of Homeland Security and the State Department have both denied sending such notices, officials admit that from all indicatons, the letters seemed authentic and did originate from Homeland Security’s visa processing centers across the country.  As such, the officials said they have no choice but to honor the notices and instructed immigration centers to start processing the green cards.

The Adobo Chronicles learned from reliable sources that a group of hackers was able to infiltrate the State Department and DHS computers and reset their systems to change the status of all undocumented immigrants to “legal.”

The hackers apparently got the idea after seeing the film, “Elysium.”  In the movie, disease and poverty-stricken planet earth people are all wanting to be transported to a circular space station built and occupied by wealthy former earthlings. The station has the capability of curing any disease. However, only documented citizens of Elysium can enter the space station.  Hackers then succeeded in re-booting Elysium’s data center and with the click of a button, automatically made all earth people citizens of the man-made circular planet.