In a masterstroke of political theater, Sara Duterte has bestowed upon herself the title of “designated survivor” for President Bongbong Marcos’ State of the Nation Address.

Traditionally, this role is reserved for a Cabinet member to ensure continuity of governance in case of a catastrophic event that befalls the president and those next in line in the succession.

However, Duterte, no longer part of the Cabinet and already the constitutionally designated successor as Vice President, seems to have missed this memo. Her self-designation raises eyebrows and questions. Is there an underlying plot against the President that only she is privy to? Or perhaps, in an unparalleled display of precaution, she aims to secure her already secure position.

One can only marvel at the audacity or confusion that leads a Vice President to appoint herself as the backup to herself. In the grand tapestry of political maneuvers, this one adds a touch of farcical brilliance.

Oh, the great scandal of our times: Atty. Vic Rodriguez, once the face of Bongbong Marcos’ campaign, might have committed the unthinkable—keeping a government-owned banner and a license plate!

Imagine the audacity! While common sense insists that employees return company property upon departure, can we really blame Rodriguez for wanting mementos from his short-lived tenure? After all, who wouldn’t cherish such prestigious relics? Surely, a banner and a plate are worth a thousand memories!

Forget corruption and misuse of public funds; this is the real issue that should grip the nation. Legal proceedings for this heinous act could set a new precedent: no souvenir shall be left unreturned.

Justice must prevail, lest our country plunge into anarchy where former officials freely display obsolete government decor at book launches.