Category Archives: Food

Mistaken Assumption: PAWS Sues Makati Mexican Restaurant!

MAKATI CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Makati Bureau) – In a bizarre case of mistaken assumption, the Philippine Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) has decided to unleash the legal hounds on Chihuahua Mexican Grill in Greenbelt, Makati. Why? PAWS assumed the restaurant was violating the Animal Welfare Act, serving up man’s best friend in their burritos.

The misunderstanding arose from the misleadingly adorable name of the establishment, Chihuahua Mexican Grill. PAWS, apparently thinking the grill was going full-on culinary Cruella de Vil, filed a lawsuit faster than you can say “taco ’bout a mix-up.”

However, it turns out the only thing being grilled at Chihuahua is good old beef, pork, and chicken. PAWS might need a crash course in menu interpretation, proving once and for all that jumping to conclusions can land you in the legal doghouse.

Moral of the story: before unleashing the legal beasts, make sure you’re barking up the right taco truck.

Jollibee’s Buy Now, Pay Later Plan To Launch This Christmas!

In a groundbreaking move that will surely redefine the art of gastronomic indulgence, Jollibee has unveiled its revolutionary “ChickenJoy on Credit” initiative, set to launch on December 25, 2023. 

The Filipino fast-food giant aims to cater to cash-strapped Pinoys by allowing them to savor the crispy delight of ChickenJoy without the inconvenience of paying upfront.

In this avant-garde business concept, there’s no minimum or maximum order requirement, ensuring that every Filipino can plunge into a world of gastronomic ecstasy without the burden of immediate payment. 

Jollibee’s CEO proudly declared, “Why worry about money when you can have ChickenJoy? It’s the taste that keeps giving, and now the payment can wait too!”

Critics, however, question whether this initiative is a stroke of marketing genius or simply a poultry pipe dream. Skeptics wonder if the nation will descend into a fried chicken-induced financial crisis, but for now, Pinoys are embracing the prospect of a debt-fueled ChickenJoy celebration.

Buy now, pay later! Installments available.

Dateline Zürich: Hunger Strike Is Blackmail…

by Maria Bratikova

. . . and is voluntary fasting. It is not a sentence nor a punishment. It is a self-imposed deprivation of food and food-intake . It is not unlike a kid throwing a fit threatening his mum or dad that he‘s going to hold his breath until he‘s blue in the face unless either or both parents give in to his whims, caprices and unnecessary meanness. 

To die at the doorstep of a perceived offender was a disgrace for that perceived offender. That is so middle-agey. A happy aside to this is that there is no record of hunger strike resultingin death. To date.

What does hunger strike aim to achieve? 

It is supposed to be a non-violent action of protest. Its purpose is to provoke a feeling of guilt in others. 

THAT is the crucible. 

To follow the rationalé of a hunger strike is  to understand that one seeks to make people who have nothing to do with his/her  own actions to feel guilty. It‘s like soliciting empathy and pity. It is recruiting common decency to bend or break to accommodate one‘s callowness.

A person who wants to harm himself first publicises it in broad sheet. . . tomorrow i‘m going to k¡ll the life of moi. What does that make?  A child stomping its feet for tantrums, a juvenile act of  terrorism to make another bend to allow for one‘s disregard to what is right. 

It is the coward‘s way to go around a stiff question of legality that would and could surely nail his/her allergy to telling the truth when properly processed through the wholeshebang. 

Freedom of speech is not about blabbing to libel or slander. Freedom of speech carries the burden of reponsibilities. Freedom of speech is, ergo, responsible.

Man up. Or woman up.