MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – It was very disappointing for former talk show host and presidential sister Kris Aquino.  Her “dream Hollywood film project” ended up being a mere cameo role in “Crazy Rich Asians.” Not even a mention of her name in the official cast of the film.

But not to worry.  Aquino hit it big when her locally-produced film made it to the Magic 8 for this year’s Metro Manila Film Festival, slated from December 25, 2017 to January 7, 2018.

The Film Festival entry, “Crazy Beach Asians” not only casts Aquino in the title role, but she also directs and produces this film which is expected to break all box office records.

The film was orignally titled “Crazy B*tch Asians” but it was not approved by the Movie and Television Review and Classification Board (MTRCB).  “The festival is for all audiences,” an MTRCB spokesperson said.

Aquino expects to sweep all the major awards at the Festival.

Congratulations, Kris!

HOLLYWOOD, California (The Adobo Chronicles, Los Angeles Bureau) – Many of her fans were looking forward to her moment of fame, a la ‘Sunset Boulevard’: “Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up!”

Well it wasn’t going to be quite a Norma Desmond moment, but still, it was a Hollywood dream film for Kris Aquino, playing a cameo role as a princess in “Crazy Rich Asians.”

She announced it on her Instagram account, saying she has signed a deal to appear in this new Hollywood film project based on the novel by Kevin Kwan.

With about 7 luggages in tow, she posed for the cameras as she was checking in for a flight to Singapore where the movie was being filmed.

Also in her check-in baggage were several designer gowns fit for her royal Hollywood film debut.

But alas, it was all a misunderstanding.

Her cameo role was for an orderly at the Princess Hospital where the rich Asians go for their medical care.

For the uninitiated, an “orderly” is an attendant in a hospital responsible for the nonmedical care of patients and the maintenance of order and cleanliness.

She didn’t have to bring any wardrobe from Manila.  Her costume was waiting for her at the set.