Category Archives: Economy

Economy, Music

Got A Coldplay Concert In Manila, Will Defy All Odds!

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Ah, the melodious symphony of Filipino priorities – a cacophony as rich and diverse as the flavors of adobo. 

While the nation collectively laments the soaring prices of rice, a staple as essential as the air they breathe, the uproar could drown out even the shrill honks of Metro Manila’s infamous traffic. The struggle to afford a bag of rice competes with the daily traffic woes, reminiscent of a never-ending telenovela plot.

Enter the grand finale: a Coldplay concert at the majestic Philippine Arena. Suddenly, wallets open wider than the mouths of frustrated commuters stuck in EDSA traffic. P1,500 for a ticket? No problem! The allure of fixating on fluorescent wristbands and belting out “Fix You” transcends the agony of a rice budget meltdown. 

It seems Filipinos are masters at navigating obstacles – unless those obstacles involve grocery store price tags or rush-hour gridlocks. So, let the rice simmer, let the traffic crawl, but when it’s time for a Coldplay serenade, wallets open, and priorities waltz out the door.

Economy, Finance, Politics

Desperate Doomsday Shouters (DDShits) Face A Bleak New Year

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It seems the Philippines’ critics will have to postpone their New Year’s celebrations as the country clinches the title of one of the world’s fastest-growing economies. 

This unexpected success has left the DDShits (Doomsday Shouters) and administration critics scratching their heads, desperately searching for a new angle to discredit the Marcos administration. 

Perhaps they could redirect their fervor toward the perennial issue of EDSA traffic, where even the most patient commuters feel like they’re part of a never-ending parade. 

Forget economic triumphs; let’s tackle the true crisis—unruly traffic jams. As the nation prepares for prosperity, critics might need to trade in their pessimistic banners for some EDSA traffic cones. After all, nothing unites a country like the shared misery of a standstill commute. Cheers to a gridlocked New Year!

Economy, Finance, Government

Cash Is Life!

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In a groundbreaking move to combat poverty, the government has allocated a staggering P60 billion for poor families in 2024, a brilliant brainchild that will surely result in eradicating poverty. Who needs long-term, systemic solutions? Band-aid fixes are the real heroes here.

Cash gifts and food stamps are undoubtedly the magic wands that will finally put an end to the pesky habit of parasitic dependence on government aid. 

Forget education, job opportunities, and healthcare—why bother with those when you can simply shower people with cash and hope they figure out how to escape the clutches of poverty themselves.

The visionary behind this budgetary bonanza, has clearly cracked the code: poverty is just a lack of money. Who would have thought? Brace yourselves, folks, for the grand spectacle of throwing money at a problem and expecting it to disappear miraculously. 

Poverty, be warned, your days are numbered—or until the next budget allocation.