All posts by Pol Pinoy

Congressman Romeo Acop, Celebrity Endorser?

In the grand theater of the Congressional hearings, plot twists keep us hooked—our nation’s lawmakers reveal hidden talents beyond legislation! 

Congressman Romeo Acop, for instance, dropped the ultimate bombshell: his secret identity as a celebrity endorser. Who could have predicted? From biting questions on government spending to… biting into a perfectly glazed Mary Grace ensaymada. And he’s not stopping there. A quick pivot from confidential funds leads us to his love for Piattos, reminding us of the nostalgic taste of youth (which, ironically, seems in short supply in Congress). Acop’s masterful product placement might make us wonder—do our hearings come with a side of chips? 

With this level of finesse, even the nation’s brightest youth could hardly compete. Why discuss transparency and accountability when we could debate which snack pairs best with a COA report?

Advanced Transcript Of The Next Senate Hearing On War On Drugs

Senator Bato de la Rosa has dismissed calls to inhibit himself from the Senate hearing on Rodrigo Duterte’s War on Drugs. He says, he will participate both as an interpolator and a resource person.

The Adobo Chronicles has obtained part of future transcript of the next scheduled Senate hearing:

SENATOR BATO to SENATOR BATO: Do you admit to being the primary implementor of FPRRD’s war on drugs?

SENATOR BATO to SENATOR BATO: Your Honor, I invoke my right against self-incrimination.

SENATOR BATO to SENATOR BATO: It is a simple yes or no question. I could cite you in contempt!

SENATOR BATO to SENATOR BATO: Your Honor, may I ask for a short break? I need to go pee.

SENATOR KOKO PIMENTEL: Hearing suspended!

Rodrigo Duterte Redefines Self-Incrimination

In a masterclass on self-incrimination, former President Rodrigo Duterte seemed to redefine the legal concept by turning it into a personal confessional.

While witnesses at congressional hearings skillfully dodge questions with lines like “I invoke my right,” Duterte’s approach was refreshingly unorthodox. He freely admitted to actions that would make most attorneys reach for a stiff drink, calmly confirming his own role in alleged extrajudicial killings under his infamous war on drugs.

For Duterte, who once made headlines for his brazen admissions, due process seemed more like a quaint formality. After all, why waste taxpayer money on affidavits, testimonies, and ICC investigations when he’s already provided the main exhibit—himself?

Is this bravery, or has Duterte accidentally set a new standard for “self-cremation”? Instead of painstakingly unearthing counter evidence of wrongdoing, the former president has lit his own bonfire, inviting the world to watch. It’s the kind of bold legal strategy that would make any defense lawyer’s head spin.

Witnesses and lawyers need not apply here; Duterte’s testimony has already done the job. Why call it self-incrimination when “self-destruction” has a much better ring to it? In Duterte’s Philippines, it seems, the strongest accusations come straight from the top—no cross-examination required.