Ah, the delicate sensibilities of Vice President Sara Duterte. She’s just devastated that Congress is putting her poor OVP staff through the wringer, grilling them on her office’s spending—especially those mysterious “confidential funds.” How dare they question her expenditures? Doesn’t Congress know that her staff shouldn’t have to suffer for… her own financial decisions?

Duterte’s noble sense of “command responsibility” shines brightly—until it’s her turn in the hot seat. When it comes to defending the public purse, she’d rather watch from a distance than face the music. After all, accountability is apparently something that only applies to underlings, not to the great officeholder herself. But who can blame her? It’s a tough life, trying to justify secret funds in the name of… well, secrecy. 

At the end of the day, maybe she’s right: why be accountable when you can simply keep it “confidential”?