In the grand theater of Philippine politics, VP Sara Duterte’s latest claim of life-threatening danger feels more like a poorly scripted telenovela than a credible plea for sympathy. 

After that bizarre midnight revelation on social media—where she allegedly hired an assassin to deal with the trifecta of power if her life were threatened—her sudden pivot to alleging government negligence is as dramatic as it is perplexing.

Now, we’re supposed to believe a neck scar is irrefutable proof of an assassination attempt? Common sense suggests otherwise: either it’s self-inflicted, or perhaps the result of a closer, more personal scuffle. After all, breaching the tight security around someone of her stature is next to impossible unless the perpetrator were practically family.

If this were a film, critics would slam the lazy writing. Her PR team seems to be scrambling to rescue her from the mess she created herself, but instead of crafting a coherent narrative, they’re floundering with plot holes big enough to drive a convoy through. 

Maybe next time, they should hire better scriptwriters—or at least consult someone with a firmer grasp on reality.