Ah, the Panguil Bay Bridge—testament not just to engineering marvels but to the Olympian sport of credit-grabbing!

When the structure rose, Duterte loyalists waved their flags, crediting their idol for turning blueprints into steel. Enter Raissa Robles, ever the sleuth, pointing her pen at Bongbong Marcos for some perceived flaw. Meanwhile, the ghost of NoyNoy Aquino might be muttering, “Excuse me, I approved that funding!” Alas, history is messy, and nuance is a casualty in the political free-for-all.

Shouldn’t we instead be united in celebrating the bridge, a literal connection in a divided archipelago? But no, we prefer scoring political points. 

Here’s a suggestion: let’s engrave a plaque crediting everyone—from surveyors to presidents—because no Filipino leader completes anything solo. Or maybe just add “built by trolls, critics, and three administrations.” After all, in this country, infrastructure is as much a political circus as it is a public service.

If presidents could be installed by surveys, as Vice President Sara Duterte seems to imply, then why bother with elections at all? Let Pulse Asia and SWS run the country—they’re clearly more influential than the Constitution!

By her logic, governance is no longer about platforms, accountability, or public service but the volatile whims of approval ratings. In this parallel universe, leaders should keep a resignation letter handy, just in case their numbers dip below 50%.

Applying this to her, Sara Duterte should already be drafting her farewell speech, as her trust ratings have been consistently sliding. Shouldn’t she lead by example in this hypothetical “surveyocracy”? Or is this one of those “rules for thee, but not for me” scenarios?

Alas, her stance betrays a misunderstanding of democratic principles—elections confer legitimacy, not surveys. But hey, if popularity rules, maybe influencers and TikTok stars should start preparing their inaugural addresses!