Sara Duterte’s relationship with the law is nothing short of groundbreaking—she’s rewriting it in real-time, as if rules are mere suggestions for mortals, not for her divine office. When asked to swear to tell the truth, she chose not to. Why bother with such trifles when you can simply redefine truth itself? Her “conditional act of revenge” spin on grave threats might as well be her audition for a career in Orwellian doublespeak. Now, as potential criminal charges loom, she’s boldly demanding pre-interview cheat sheets from the National Bureau of Investigation. Why? Perhaps so she can prepare a more creative reinterpretation of accountability.

It’s an inspired twist on “no one is above the law”—just edit the law until it fits snugly beneath your feet. Sara Duterte isn’t breaking the law; she’s making it. After all, who needs justice when you’ve got improvisation?