Pantaleon Alvarez, once a beacon of legislative order, now seems to have found his next calling: the nation’s doomsday prophet. His new prophecy? The Philippines will crumble if VP Sara Duterte gets impeached. Move over, Apollo Quiboloy!

Forget climate change or global pandemics—the real threat is clearly political accountability. Channeling the apocalyptic energy of the now-incarcerated KJoC pastor, Alvarez has stepped into the limelight with fire and brimstone rhetoric. 

Of course, he’s counting on the 32 million who voted for Sara, blissfully ignoring that 31 million of those also supported Bongbong Marcos. Convenient, right? But who’s keeping track? 

One can only imagine the fiery sermons to come, where political loyalty is akin to salvation, and impeachment spells the end of days.