In a bold move to bolster patriotism and, undoubtedly, to test the limits of bureaucratic endurance, Malacañang has decreed that all government offices must now incorporate the “recitation” of the Bagong Pilipinas hymn and pledge into their routines. Yes, you read that right—recitation of a hymn. One must wonder, did the palace envision the logistical nightmare this would cause during Monday flag ceremonies?

Picture this: government employees, already drowning in paperwork, now spending precious morning minutes in a patriotic performance marathon. How splendid! More time for ceremonial zeal, less for actual public service.

Perhaps the next memorandum will mandate singing the entire Philippine epic, “Ibong Adarna,” every Friday. Clearly, efficiency is being redefined. The true essence of governance, it seems, lies not in serving citizens but in perfecting the art of patriotism pageantry. Who knew bureaucracy could hit such high notes?