In a brilliant stroke of genius, technocrats from a Manny Pangilinan company have devised a foolproof plan to alleviate traffic congestion in Baguio City’s Central Business District (CBD) by slapping a congestion fee on motorists.

Never mind that the CBD isn’t just Session Road, as the keen-eyed folks at Rappler might have you believe; it’s a labyrinth of roads like Magsaysay, Harrison, Abanao, General Luna, Bonifacio, Leonard Wood and more. Charging a fee to enter this vehicular maze will surely clear the streets instantly—of common sense.

But why stop at a congestion fee? Let’s ban private cars and taxis altogether from the CBD. Baguio’s legendary cool weather makes it the perfect walking city. Picture it: citizens striding purposefully through the streets, fitness levels soaring, smog levels plummeting. Residents and tourists alike will soon boast calves of steel, rendering gyms obsolete.

Forget traffic solutions—let’s embrace pedestrian utopia and march our way to a healthier, greener future!