MANDALUYONG CITY (The Adobo Chronicles, Mandaluyong Bureau) – Rappler employees are reportedly preparing to stage a mass exodus from their plush air-conditioned cubicles in a desperate plea for an increase in their pitiful salaries.

The revolt was allegedly triggered by revelations that SMNI “talents” Lorraine T. Badoy and Ka Eric are raking in a whopping P100,000 monthly, causing Rapplerettes to collectively sigh, “sana all.”

Sources claim that the disgruntled staff couldn’t contain their envy after learning of these astronomical figures, and, fueled by a potent combination of desperation and sarcasm, they’ve decided to make a stand. The discontented workers, who already struggle with the dubious honor of being associated with one of the least-trusted news outlets in the Philippines, have seemingly had enough of their humble paychecks.

Observers suggest that Rappler’s salary structure (not to mention its unpaid internships) might need a reality check, given the growing resentment within its ranks.

As the drama unfolds, one can’t help but wonder if the beleaguered newsroom will echo with the distant cries of, “Sana all, indeed.”