Monthly Archives: December 2023

Holiday, Language

Commission On Filipino Language Appeals To Philippine Bishops: Correct Christmas Misnomers

Leave a comment

BAGUIO CITY, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Baguio Bureau) – The Commission on Filipino Language is reportedly urging the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines to embark on a linguistic crusade to correct the linguistic sins of Christmas. 

According to the commission, common Christmas terms have been used inaccurately for centuries.

The commission asserts that “Pasko,” widely believed to mean Christmas, is a linguistic faux pas as it actually stems from the Spanish “Pascua,” meaning Easter. In a bid for terminological precision, they propose a Yuletide rebranding.

Another linguistic misstep, according to the commission, is the term “Simbanggabi.” Contrary to popular belief, they argue, the Christmas novena should not be associated with the night but with the crack of dawn. Perhaps dawn vigil in Tagalog would be a more fitting description?

And let’s not forget “Noche Buena,” which, according to the commission, should be renamed to reflect its true meaning. Despite its long history, they argue it inaccurately translates to “Good Night” in Spanish. 

In the name of linguistic integrity, the commission is demanding a Yuletide vocabulary overhaul, sparking debates on whether the language police have gone too far.

Media, Social Media

P50K A Month To Monitor Jay Sonza’s P1 Million?

Leave a comment

In the latest episode of “The Chronicles of Jay Sonza’s Social Media Mysteries,” the former broadcaster unveils a secret admirer – a covert netizen who allegedly receives a hefty P50K monthly stipend for the riveting task of monitoring Sonza’s online escapades. 

Move over, NSA, we’ve got a new surveillance maestro in town, and his target is the man who brought you the news (and now, apparently, unintended comedy).

As Jay Sonza continues to rake in a cool million as the oracle of SMNI News, one can only wonder: is this mysterious follower a social media aficionado or a highly specialized investigator with a knack for deciphering Sonza’s cryptic posts? 

Speculation abounds, fueled by Sonza’s refusal to drop any names, leaving us to imagine a scenario where PNP or NBI personnel are clandestinely sipping coffee at a McDonald’s, scrolling through Sonza’s timeline, and pondering the mysteries of life – or at least the mysteries of his consulting fee. (Sonza had been previously charged with estafa and illegal recruitment

It seems that in the world of Jay Sonza, every post chapter in a novel of absurdity and intrigue.

By the way P50K is the monthly compensation of a government employee under salary grade 19!

Festivals, Film and TV, Government

MMDA’s Misguided Priorities

Leave a comment

In a move that can only be described as visionary, the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) has decided that what the bustling metropolis truly needs is an MMFF (Metro Manila Film Festival) Auditorium. Because clearly, amidst the chaos of traffic, the symphony of car horns, and the ballet of illegally parked vehicles, what the people of Metro Manila have been yearning for is a dedicated space to showcase annually recycled slapstick blockbusters.

One might argue that there are already numerous venues available for such cinematic revelry, both public and private. But who needs logic when you can have an exclusive, taxpayer-funded auditorium that serves as a testament to the city’s priorities? Forget about bike lanes, footbridges, garbage cleanup, and traffic solutions; what the people really want is a monument to the pinnacle of Pinoy cinema—festive films that, once a year, unite the masses in an unparalleled celebration of mediocrity.

Because in a city grappling with real issues, what could be more essential than a shrine to the annual pageantry of cinematic absurdity? Clearly, the MMDA knows what the people truly need.