Monthly Archives: December 2023

Education, Media

Columbia University Offers Filipinos Fully-paid Scholarships For A Degree In Biased Journalism!

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In a groundbreaking move, Columbia University in New York proudly unveiled its latest educational endeavor – the Maria Ressa Biased Journalism Scholarship. The fully-paid, two-year program promises to hone students’ skills in selectively reporting facts and mastering the art of disinformation, all under the watchful gaze of Rappler CEO and Nobel Laureate Maria Ressa, whose reputation as the maestro of media bias precedes her.

This bold initiative follows hot on the heels of Rapplerette Lian Buan’s triumph in completing her Master of Laws in Human Rights, where she reportedly defended her dissertation by expertly denigrating her own country. 

The university, evidently inspired by such stellar examples, aims to produce a new generation of journalists adept at turning news into a finely crafted narrative, devoid of inconvenient truths.

The Maria Ressa Biased Journalism Scholarship: Because the truth is overrated, and journalism is an art best served with a healthy dose of partiality.

Media, Social Media

Double Standard Over The Word “Kill?”

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In the ever-entertaining theater of Philippine politics and showbiz, Sharon Cuneta’s recent family drama takes center stage. 

In a not-so-subtle social media announcement, she declared her daughters’ willingness to commit acts of violence for their beloved mama and for each other. Paging Facebook and Instagram, are family hit squads now an acceptable part of your community standards?

Meanwhile, in the parallel universe of political correctness, former President Duterte finds himself facing legal action for uttering the taboo word “kill.” Representative France Castro, ever the vigilant guardian of verbal decorum, slams Duterte for his apparent lack of sensitivity.  An SMNI News program was also suspended by MTRCB for the exact same Duterte statement.

But wait, is there a double standard at play? While Duterte faces legal woes, Cuneta revels in familial blood pacts without a hitch. Does showbiz possess some mystical immunity, or are we witnessing a theatrical production where rules only apply to politicians? In this curious landscape, perhaps satire is the only consistent element.

If Cuneta used an idiom, couldn’t Duterte have used a figure of speech?

Travel

MMDA To Launch Multi-car Buses With Rooftop Pools

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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – In a groundbreaking move to tackle Manila’s infamous traffic, the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) has unveiled its latest solution: multi-car buses equipped with swimming pools to ply the entire length of EDSA. 

The brainchild of the agency’s high-paid technocrats, this aquatic commuting experience promises to turn your daily gridlock into a tropical getaway.

Passengers can now dive into a pool while inching through the notorious traffic jams, turning their frowns into soggy smiles. The buses are equipped with showers and dressing rooms.

An MMDA spokesperson, declared, “We believe that the best way to beat the traffic is to take a leisurely swim. Why be stuck in a crowded bus when you can float your worries away?”

Critics argue that perhaps fixing the actual traffic issues might be a more practical approach, but the MMDA insists that floating through the chaos is the future of stress-free commuting. The new buses are set to make a splash, quite literally, in the city’s public transportation scene.