Monthly Archives: June 2015

Health & Medicine

U.S. SURGEON GENERAL ASKS FOR CALM AMID REPORTS OF BACTERIAL INFECTION AMONG MILLIONS OF AMERICANS

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Murthy
Murthy

ATLANTA, Georgia (The Adobo Chronicles®) – While health authorities in Southeast Asia are alarmed at the increasing number of cases of the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS), officials of the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) are worried about a possible epidemic of  a mysterious oral bacterial infection among Americans.

In just the last 24 hours, the CDC has confirmed more than 5 Million cases of the bacterial infection, based on reports from community clinics, hospitals and emergency rooms across the country.

The reports prompted U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Hallegere Murthy to go on national television this morning, asking his fellow Americans to remain calm.

“The government can confirm that indeed, millions of Americans came down with this still unknown oral bacterial infection that seems to have spread quickly in almost all states. Investigators from the CDC were immediately dispatched to try to trace the source of the infection.”

“As of this morning, we have positively identified the culprit for this oral infection. Yesterday, June 19, was “National Kissing Day.”

“There is no reason to be alarmed as everything will pass. I am asking Americans to refrain  from kissing anyone for at least two weeks until this artificial epidemic has died down.”

The human mouth harbors up to 80 Million microbes at any given time.

For now, give hugs, not kisses.

 

International, Politics

DONALD TRUMP SAYS IRAQ WAR WAS AN ACCIDENT

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imageLAS VEGAS, Nevada (The Adobo Chronicles®) – Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry characterized the recent shooting in Charleston as an “accident” during an interview on Friday, accusing President Obama of using the massacre, which claimed nine lives, as a pretext for pushing a gun control agenda.

“This is the MO of this administration anytime there is an accident like this,” Perry said during an appearance on Newsmax TV. The former Texas governor said the president “doesn’t like guns,” so “he uses every opportunity” to tighten restrictions on gun ownership.

Another Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, described the U.S. involvement in the Iraq war as an accident, saying that former President George W. Bush and his Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld accidentally believed that Saddam Hussein was concealing weapons of mass destruction.

It seems that Republicans have found the perfect excuse for everything that’s wrong with America and it’s a recurring theme that we will see throughout the presidential campaign season between now and the 2016 elections.

Senator Rand Paul is reportedly preparing a major speech this weekend in which he will describe the election of Barack Obama as an accident — twice over.

International

SOUTH KOREANS COULD FACE NATURAL EXTINCTION BY 2750; BY THEN, FILIPINOS WILL BE LIVING ON WATER

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Photo: inquirer.net
Photo: inquirer.net

SEOUL, South Korea (The Adobo Chronicles®) – A 2014 study commissioned by the national legislature concluded that South Koreans could face natural extinction by the year 2750, if the birthrate were maintained at 1.19 children per woman.

Not only is the South Korean population aging (like in Japan and the US), but birthrates are also falling and women are increasingly less inclined to get married.

In 2013, the country’s birth rate plummeted to the lowest level on record: Only 8.6 babies per 1,000 South Koreans were born, and the total number of births fell by 9.9% to the second-lowest number on record.

Furthermore, a government survey of respondents aged 9 to 24 showed that only 45.6% of women “said marriage was something they should do in life,” considerably lower than the 62.9% of men.

Overall, the average South Korean woman is expected to give birth to 1.187 babies in her lifetime — the fifth lowest fertility in the world.

In contrast, neighboring country Philippines, with a current population of 100 Million (twice that of South Korea),  has a birthrate of 24.4 babies per 1,000 Filipinos.

One of Metro Manila's cities, Pasig, from the air
One of Metro Manila’s cities, Pasig, from the air

Unless the Philippine government comes up with a solid plan to control population growth, there will not be enough land space to accommodate all Filipinos by the year 2750.

But controlling population is almost out of the question in this predominantly Catholic country, where church officials even encourage Filipinos to make more babies so that the Philippines will have enough workers in call centers as more foreign investors increasingly outsource their manpower requirements.

Urban areas like Metro Manila will be packed like sardines and the population will have to disperse to the rural areas.

Still, that would not be enough to house all Filipinos.

The only option is to build house boats and a good percentage of Filipinos will be living on water — which is plenty in this nation of 7,100 islands.

This dire prediction could only emphasize the need for the Philippines to aggressively defend its claim over islands and waters in the South China Sea — a hotbed of territorial conflict between China and the Philippines, along with other Southeast Asian nations.