TRUCKLOADS OF T-SHIRTS STOLEN FROM MANILA’S CATHOLIC ARCHDIOCESE

Fr. Fajardo wearing t-shirt that says, 'Thou Shall Not Steal'
Fr. Fajardo wearing t-shirt that says, ‘Thou Shall Not Steal’

Manila, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles) – The Catholic Archdiocese of Manila has launched a marketing campaign aimed at reminding Filipinos of the 7th Commandment.

The Archdiocese has mass-produced t-shirts bearing the words, “Huwag kang magnakaw!” (Thou Shall Not Steal), hoping that the shirts would have the power to eradicate the culture of greed and thievery among Filipinos. Father Nonong Fajardo said that out of The 10 Commandments, the archdiocese chose to highlight the 7th Commandment because it seemed that stealing had become “normal” to many Filipinos, especially among elected officials.

The shirts cost P150 each and the proceeds from the sale will be used for forums and programs discussing the issue of stealing.

Today, several truckloads of the special t-shirts were stolen by armed thieves as the shipment was being transported from the printing press to the archdiocese’s warehouse at Adamson University in Manila. The thieves ran away with 1.5 Million pesos worth of t-shirts.

A classic case of  a message gone awry.

 

 

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HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN FILES COURT INJUNCTION TO STOP RAINBOW CROSSWALKS IN SAN FRANCISCO’S CASTRO DISTRICT

Artist's rendition of the Castro Street rainbow crosswalk
Artist’s rendition of the Castro Street rainbow crosswalk

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Tens of thousands will descend upon San Francisco’s gay Castro district this Sunday for the annual Castro Street Fair.  They will also be stepping onto new rainbow-colored crosswalks for the first time when traversing the intersection of 18th and Castro Streets.

The painting of the crosswalks is part of the overall Castro Street Redesign, a $4.5 Million makeover intended to return “fabulous” to the historic district.

Everything seems to be on schedule, including the unveiling of the rainbow crosswalks this Sunday. Except for one thing.

The Human Rights Capaign (HRC), the nation’s largest LGBT advocacy group, has  just filed for an emergency court injunction to stop the painting of the crosswalks in the Castro. It is a court case that could have a far-reaching effect on similar projects in other major U.S. cities like Los Angeles and Chicago.

In petitioning the court, the HRC said that the rainbow colors and flag are a sacred symbol of the worldwide LGBT community. “To paint this symbol on street pavements only to be trampled upon by pedestrians is a total desecration,” it added.

HRC president Chad Griffin told The Adobo Chronicles that his organization will fight to the very end to stop the Castro project and other similar projects in the country. “Think about it this way, ” Griffin said, “if cities start painting their pedestrian crosswalks with the U.S. flag, would Americans just sit by and do nothing to stop this desecration?”

San Francisco county supervisor Scott Wiener, who represents the Castro district,  could not be reached for comment.

In the meantime, reliable sources revealed that the next phase of the crosswalk project would be to change the stop light signals on Castro Street.  Instead of red, green and yellow lights, the warning signals will say ‘Shantay’ for walk, ‘Sashay’ for hurry up, and ‘Strike a pose,” for don’t walk.

TECH BILLIONAIRES BUYING ENTIRE ISLANDS IN HAWAII

Map showing Maui, Lāna'i and Moloka'i
Map showing Maui, Lāna’i and Moloka’i

Maui, Hawaii (The Adobo Chronicles) – The islands of Maui are slowly but surely falling into the hands of tech billionaires like Oracle’s Larry Ellison and Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg.

Ellison, who recently stepped down as chairman of Oracle Corporatiom, had previously bought the entire island of Lāna’i and has started to build his dream retirement home in what he plans to rename Ellis Island of the Pacific.

Now, The Adobo Chronicles has confirmed that Zuckerberg has closed escrow on the island of Moloka’i. The 30-year old Facebook founder and CEO has no plans for retirement at the moment but he has already laid out elaborate plans to build a Facebook Fantasy Island that is sure to relegate Disneyland into a mere “small world.”

Zuckerberg’s plans were revealed just as he made headlines in San Francisco after his neighbors complained about the ongoing construction of his home in the city. It has been reported that Zuckerberg has bought four other properties surrounding his home and has spent the last year and a half developing his expanded residential compound. Neighbors have complained that they could not even park their cars in front of their homes because of road blocks and heavy equipment parked in the area.

With Ellison and Zuckerberg now owning the two islands in Maui, residents of nearby Kaua’ i have expressed concern that their garden island, too, will soon be owned by another tech billionaire.  Who could it be?

We’re guessing Apple’s Tim Cook. And we predict that he will rename Kauai the ‘Little Apple of the Pacific.’

ADOBO CHRONICLES HONORED WITH WORLD HALL OF FAME AWARD!

squareBerlin, Germany – The Adobo Chronicles has been honored with a Hall of Fame Award, along with about 90 news sites worldwide that include The Onion, The Borowitz Report, The Daily Currant and The National Report.

The exciting news comes just hours after The Adobo Chronicles reached another milestone in its 15th month of existence, surpassing the 11 Million mark in viewers. It is the only Filipino American news site given this rare honor.

The award will be formally presented at an elaborate ceremony to be held on December 25, 2014 at the Reichtag, the German Parliament Building in Berlin. German Chancellor Angela Merker will preside over the ceremony.

Champagne flowed at The Adobo Chronicles newsroom today when the news was received.

Here is the complete list of Hall of Fame Awardees for 2014.

SFPD LAUNCHES HOT COP OF CASTRO PAGEANT

'The Hot Cop of Castro' Photo credit: Steven Kyle Weller
‘The Hot Cop of Castro’ Photo credit: Steven Kyle Weller

San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – The San Francisco Police Department (SFPD) has announced the launching of the Hot Cop of Castro Annual Pageant, with its inaugural show to be held on December 15 at the famed Castro Theater.

The contest announcement comes just days after Police Officer Chris Kohrs, a.k.a. Hot Cop of Castro, took down his Facebook fan page months after generating more than 50,000 followers.

Kohrs rose to prominence after a Castro resident took a photo of the good-looking cop while he was making the rounds of the gay district. Shortly after the photo was posted on Facebook, it went viral, giving birth to a popular fan page.

Korhs told reporters that he just wanted to focus on his family and job as a police officer. Nevertheless, he told his fans that he was just three digits away (911).

In view of Kohrs’ disappearance from social media, the SFPD decided to look for a successor, and the rest is history.  The Hot Cop of Castro Pageant was born. “It is a way  for us to showcase the SFPD in a more positive light as a gay-friendly police force,” a police spokesperson said.

Interested pageant contestants are asked to contact SFPD through text and email but are urged not to call 911. The contest is open to all SFPD cops, gay or straight. “We have no specific qualifications or criteria. All it takes is for candidates to show us what they’ve got that’s hot,” SFPD said.

 

ELLO GOES VIRAL, THE WRONG ELLO THAT IS

IMG_5501San Francisco, California (The Adobo Chronicles) – Everyone seems to be talking about Ello, the new, invite-only and ad-free social networking site that is making Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg really really nervous.

Ello was created by a group of seven well-known artists and programmers as a simple, beautiful, and ad-free place to share artwork and connect with friends from around the world.

In its ‘About’ page, the founders state: “We built Ello because virtually all the other social networks were cluttered, ugly, and full of ads. We began to feel manipulated by the networks themselves — many of our posts were never seen by our friends at all, because ads had taken priority.We came to realize that a social network that has ads is a social network created for advertisers, not for people. Every move we made was tracked and recorded, and every post we made was read and sold to other companies so they could show us more ads. It wasn’t fun any more.”

Although still in its beta (trial) stage, Ello has already gone viral.

Alas, it is the wrong Ello. As millions of excited netizens googled the new site, something else kept coming up: an obscure nutritional products company with the same name, based in Monroe, Michigan. Owners of the Ello Corporation couldn’t be any happier with their free advertising.IMG_5499

The founders of Ello, the social networking site, blamed the situation on Apple iOS 8’s autofill feature.  When people type Ello.co (which is the correct URL) for the site , autofill adds ‘m’ thinking that they are searching for Ello.com, which is the URL for the Michigan nutritional company.

SEATTLE-BASED PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY FACES WORLDWIDE PROTEST FOR NEW ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION DRUG INVOLVING HORNY GOAT

Hausziege_04Seattle, Washington (The Adobo Chronicles) – During ancient times in Syria, goats were covered with silver necklaces and left open out in the city on the king’s wedding. It is believed that they carry evils with them. Certain communities like Silenus and the Fauns had part of their  bodies shaped like goat. In Africa people have goat as their primary divinity. In Greece and Egypt, goats are worshipped in goat and phallic form.

It is therefore no surprise that when a biotech company announced that it was developing a new drug to treat erectile dysfunction using horny goat, it was met with worldwide criticism and protest. The company, Plandaí Biotechnology, Inc. said it will begin testing and developing a new drug whose primary active ingredient is icariin, extracted from horny goat. It is similar to the active ingredient in another E.D. drug, Viagra.

Pickets were scheduled this week in front of the company’s headquarters in Seattle as well as its offices in Europe.

A spokesperson for Plandaí told The Adobo Chronicles that it was all a big misunderstanding and acknowledged that its marketing department did not do a good job in promoting the potential new drug.

“Icariin is an extract from the plant Epidemium which is also called horny goat weed. It is a phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitor similar to sildenafil,  the active ingredient in Viagra,” he said.

He added: “Besides, how on earth would we be able to determine if a goat (referring to the animal) is horny or not?”

Controversy solved.

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