Manila, Philippines - From Chicago to San Francisco, from Hong Kong to Venice, water ferries are a popular mode of transportation for both business and pleasure. Manila wants to be known as the ferry capital of the world and is working very hard to earn that distinction.
This week, the Manila Metropolitan Development Authority (MMDA) unveiled a prototype ferry that would transport passengers from one end of the polluted Pasig River to the other, and it is living up to the Philippine tourism meme of “It’s More Fun In the Philippines.”
The prototype ferry consists of a steel barge lined with used rubber tires and on it sits a yellow dilapidated mini-bus that once traversed the traffic-ridden streets of the Philippine metropolis. “The Pasig River ferry boat will be like no other in the world,” and MMDA official said. “It is not only a ferry boat, it is also a bus,” he added.
The new ferry boats will start operating sometime in April this year and passengers will be charged 80 Pesos (roughly $2) each way.
Instead of life jackets, passengers will be handed disposable face masks in order to protect them from the stench of the polluted river.
Responding to media questions, MMDA said that the new ferry system will not contribute to further polluting the river since the boats will not be using regular gasoline to operate. Instead, the boats will run on lambanog, a popular local wine made from coconut. Because of its potency, the lambanog “fuel” has the potential to kill bacteria and viruses that may be clinging to debris floating in the river. “Quite ingenious,” commented one Manila commuter who says he is so sick of the daily traffic gridlock.
MMDA said there will be 5 ferries operating, each with a capacity of 40 passengers. This means a potential of 200 less commuters on Manila’s overcrowded buses and jeepneys each time the ferries run.
Hollywood, California (EXCLUSIVE to The Adobo Chronicles) - In the Disney animated film, ‘Frozen,’ Queen Elsa is seen singing the Oscar Award-winning song ‘Let It Go’ atop a mountain as she builds her ice castle in which she was to live her life in isolation.
Most moviegoers believe she was singing the song to herself with an admonition to let go of everything she had, including her beloved sister Anna and her entire kingdom.
But that was not in the original script.
The Adobo Chronicles has just obtained a copy of the deleted scene which had the original segment of ‘Let It Go.” It appears that the film director opted to re-shoot the segment to what is now included in the film’s final cut.
In the deleted scene, Queen Elsa encountered a wood frog, freezing almost to death and clinging to a tree branch. The frog was so afraid about falling into the snow-covered ground. Apparently, Queen Elsa was singing the song not to herself but to the wood frog, telling it to let go and that it would be just fine if it did fall to the ground.
The original script’s message about the deleted scene was: people (and frogs) need to let go of their fears and not to be scared about venturing into unchartered territory.
Disney refused to comment on why it decided to edit out and replace the deleted scene. It simply responded to our reporter with, “Let It Go!”
Manila, Philippines – Pork barrel has become a universally-accepted term for discretionary funds allocated to politicians to use for their local pet projects. But the term has a very bad reputation in the Philippines, thanks to a 10 Billion-peso scam that siphoned taxpayer money into fake non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and into the personal accounts of some business people and politicians.
The Philippine Senate is currently holding hearings to look into the alleged involvement of some of its members – Senators Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Ramon Revilla, Jr. It has cast a not -so-favorable image for the entire Senate.
So, in an attempt to diffuse the negative image brought forth by the pork barrel scandal, the Senate unanimously agreed to rename the Senate investigation to “Spam Tocino Hearings.” The idea came from Hormel Foods, U.S. manufacturer of Spam . Hormel recently came up with a limited edition of its popular canned meat, capitalizing on the popular Filipino cured pork called tocino.
Senate officials said that renaming the hearings would give their investigation some “stateside” flavor while promoting the ever popular Filipino breakfast fare tocino.
Filipino activists immediately criticized the Senate move, accusing the senators of whitewashing the investigation while perpetuating Filipino colonial mentality.
Incidentally, Spam Tocino is available on the Hormel Foods website for $3.00 a can plus shipping. Hormel can only ship to U.S. addresses.
Quezon City Philippines - When the 2014 Bb. Pilipinas (Miss Philippines) beauty pageant concludes on March 30 at the Smart Araneta Coliseum in Quezon City, only one candidate will be declared the winner and will be wearing four crowns.
Bb. Pilipinas Charities, franchise holder of the four-in-one pageant, announced a major change in choosing the Philippines’ representative to international pageants. Traditionally, the contest ends in four beauties being crowned Miss Universe Philippines, Bb. Pilipinas International, Bb. Pilipinas Supranational and Bb. Pilipinas Tourism Queen, respectively. This year, however, only one candidate will be crowned for all four titles.
Pageant organizers said this new regulation will increase the Philippines’ chances of winning the much-coveted international beauty crowns. Sending the same candidate to the four international pageants will increase the Filipina candidate’s exposure in world media while boosting her experience and confidence on the pageant stage every single time.
What happens if Miss Philippines wins the crown in the first scheduled international competition? Then the first runner-up in the Miss Philippines pageant will take over and represent the country in the next three international pageants. If she wins the crown in the second pageant, then the second runner-up takes over, and so on.
“What a brilliant idea,” a beauty pageant fanatic commented, “after all there can truly be only one queen, not four.”
Beijing, China - The Chinese government continues to be puzzled by the sudden increase in the panda population in just the last six months. The latest official panda count is placed at 1,600 but as of the end of February, 2014, an unofficial panda census shows that the number of these absolutely lovely animals has reached almost 6,000, not including the worldwide zoo population.
In an investigative report done by a reporter for The Adobo Chronicles,
it was revealed that at least 4,000 of the pandas registered with the Chinese Ministry of Endangered Animals, were actually chow chow (chow) puppies, whose fur were dyed so that they would look like baby pandas.
Reacting to the Adobo Chron report, the Beijing government issued an advisory for all panda owners to report to the Ministry of Endangered Animals with their “panda” pets for verification and registration. ”Pandas” discovered to be actual chows will be given decoloring baths and the owners will be dealt with a hefty fine.
Manila, Philippines – “Let It Go,” the Oscar award-winning best song from the Disney animated film, “Frozen” shot up to number one in the music charts in the Philippines, and this happened in less than 24 hours.
The song was composed by Robert Lopez, a Filipino American, and his wife Kristen Anderson-Lopez. But that was not the reason the song climbed up the music charts.
At a Philippine Senate hearing investigating the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scam involving detained businesswoman Janet Lim-Napoles and implicating three senators, state witness Dennis Cunanan was being grilled by Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago.
Santiago repeatedly asked Cunanan, who was the director of the Technology Resource Center (TRC) when the pork barrel scam happened, what he knew about the involvement of the senators. TRC, a government corporation, acted as a conduit for the release of pork barrel funds to fake non-governmental organizations or NGOs. The senators who were allegedly involved in the scam were Juan Ponce Enrile, Jinggoy Estrada and Ramon Revilla, Jr.
“Wow. I’m very interested in what you have to say,” Santiago told Cunanan at one point of the questioning. When Cunanan hesitated to confirm who he thought was the mastermind of the whole scam, Santiago said, “Let It Go” in a Karaoke-style musical tone.
Immediately, the social networks exploded with the Santiago quote and radio stations started simultaneously playing the song from “Frozen.” In just a few hours, “Let It Go,” became the number hit on the Philippine music charts.
Manila, Philippines -
In his message to the Filipino people on Ash Wednesday – the beginning of Lent – Philippine Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle admonished the Catholic faithful to “fast and abstain not to be slim and sexy, and be charitable not to be popular.”
Many Catholics abstain from eating meat for 40 days during Lent in the spirit of sacrifice.
Responding to the cardinal’s appeal, Philippine legislators in both the Senate and House of Representatives unanimously agreed to give up pork for the next 4o days – pork barrel, that is.
The decision by the politicians couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time in view of the current legislative investigation of the 10 Billion-peso pork barrel scandal which has linked several legislators to the scam of siphoning taxpayer money into fake non-govenmental organizations (NGOs) and into the pockets of certain businessmen and elected officials.
It wasn’t clear whether the politicians’ “abstinence” from pork will automatically be rescinded come Easter Sunday, the end of the Lenten season.
Suwon, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea – Samsung is living up to its advertising mantra of “The Next Big Thing Is Here,” and Apple is getting nervous. It’s out with the “thin and tiny,” and it’s in with the “big and bulky,” as far as smart phones are concerned.
South Korea’s giant electronics company has just unveiled the next generation of its popular Samsung S-4 which has always been considered the iPhone’s biggest competition. The competition just got bigger with Samsung’s new S-Triple X smart phone with a larger screen, high resolution camera and the convenience of a tablet that doubles as face cover for uninterrupted phone calls.
“There is nothing not to like about this new smart phone,” a spokesperson for Samsung told reporters at an electronics fair in Seoul. “No more squinting of the eyes to read tiny fonts, no more danger of misplacing phones, and no more need for a wireless, bluetooth-enabled keyboard.”
Samsung’s unveiling sent Apple executives back to the drawing board to redesign the company’s next series of iPhones. They have reportedly thrown out their idea of a mini mini-iPhone and have set their eyes on creating the iPhone XII which is about the size of the current iPad. Additionally, Apple sources say they will phase out the iPad since the iPhone XII will function both as a cell phone and a tablet.
Hollywood, California – Ellen DeGeneres’ Oscar night selfie that became the most re-tweeted tweet ever and caused Twitter to temporarily crash on Sunday, was, after all, not Ellen’s selfie.
Oxford Dictionaries which just last year named ‘selfie’ the “Word of the Year,” defines selfie as ” a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website.
The problem was that it wasn’t DeGeneres that took the viral photo. It was Bradley Cooper. In fact, DeGeneres herself said in her tweet that “If only Bradley’s arm was longer…”
So it is Cooper, not Ellen, who owns the photo and who should be credited with the honor of the most re-tweeted tweet.
The Adobo Chronicles learned from sources close to Cooper that his lawyers are working to copyright the famed photograph.
Manila, Philippines - The next Philippine presidential election will not happen until 2016 but already, incumbent Vice President Jejomar “Jojo” Binay has made clear his intention to run for the top position in this nation of almost 100 Million people.
In fact, Binay has already finalized his campaign meme which he will officially launch in June this year. The meme? “Bring the government closer to the people, but away from the maddening crowd (read: Manila’s traffic nightmare).
Pressed by The Adobo Chronicles to provide a concrete example on how he plans to pursue this campaign promise, Binay said that his first official act as president would be to transfer Malacañang, the official residence of the Philippine president, from its current location in Manila to Boracay Resort in Central Philippines.
Boracay is a world-famous beach town considered one of the best, if not the best in the world. Few beaches can compare to Boracay’s immaculate white sand.
Binay said Boracay makes the most sense as the center of government because it is in the center of the Philippines. He added that Boracay is traffic-free and would enable the president to move around efficiently without the need for “wang wang.” “Wang wang” is the term used by Filipinos to refer to sirens used by government officials in their limousines to help get through congested traffic.
Binay also said that Boracay is the ideal place for the president to host foreign leaders and dignitaries because of its breath-taking views and world-class accommodations. The vice president is finalizing plans to build an international airport in Boracay to be named “The Binay Family International Airport.”
Binay’s political dynasty includes son Junjun who is mayor of Makati City and daughters Nancy and Abigail, senator and congresswoman, respectively.