Tag Archives: Philippine President


imageManila, Philippines – Reliable sources within the Philippine military seem to confirm that a coup has been handed to NoyNoy Aquino on Christmas eve, but no one knows the whereabouts of the president.

Coups in the Phlippines – both successful and unsuccessful – have been staged against every Philippine president since the late Ferdinand Marcos fled to Hawaii following the EDSA People Power Revolution.

What’s different about this latest coup is that the instigator is no less than Kris Aquino, the president’s sister, who, in addition to her career in television, reportedly has her own political ambitions.

Upon further investigation of the report, military officials confirmed that they did intercept a cell phone message from Kris to NoyNoy. Apparently, the message said, “Mr. President, tomorrow morning, I will hand you a coup as my Christmas present to you. Please meet me at our hacienda in Tarlac.”

What the static-ridden message actually said was, “Mr. President, tomorrow morning, I will hand you the keys to a 2014 Nissan Sports Coupe as my Christmas present to you. Please meet me at our hacienda in Tarlac.”


Pacquiao with The Adobo Chronicles publisher (foreground)
Pacquiao with The Adobo Chronicles publisher (foreground)

Macau, China – Filipino world boxing champion Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao confirmed to reporters today that he has set his eyes – and fists – on the Philippine presidency when the 6-year term of incumbent president Noynoy Aquino comes to an end. Pacquiao is currently serving as a Congressman representing his hometown district of Sarangani.

Pacquiao, whose last title bout ended with him being knocked out by challenger Juan Miguel Marquez, faces Brandon Rios of the United States tonight in a title fight.

Paquiao will be the first boxer ever to run for head of state.  The Philippines has had its share of non-politicians running for elective positions.  Former president Joseph Estrada, now mayor of Manila, was a movie actor. Many Philippine legislators, provincial governors and city mayors, are also actors, entertainers and journalists.

Asked what his top priorities will be if elected president, Pacquiao said that his first order of business would be to convert the Cultural Center of the Philippines to a national karaoke center and the National Assembly Building (Batasang Pambansa) to the “Boxing Center for Asia.”  Aside from boxing, Pacquiao’s other passion is singing.

As for his chances of winning the elections, Pacquiao said he is confident that the Filipino electorate will see his honest intentions to lead the country.  “It’s definitely not about accumulating wealth, unlike many politicians.  I already have lots and lots of money.”

Pacquiao’s mother, Aling Dionisia, was apparently delighted at her son’s announcement. “I don’t mind being called Queen Mum,” she exclaimed in her native Visayan dialect.