The impeachment of Vice President Sara Duterte has brought out the best in the nation’s fake news factories, with Maharlika and Sass Rogando Sasot—our beloved keyboard warriors abroad—leading the charge. According to them, duffle bags of cash have been handed out like party favors to Congressmen who endorsed the complaint. What’s next? A piñata filled with gold bars at Batasang Pambansa?
Cagayan de Oro Representative Lordan Suan has now become the star of fake quote cards, allegedly promising that impeachment = more ayuda for his constituents. So now, good governance is apparently a “cash-back rewards” program?
So what shall we expect next from the fake news peddlers? That all 215 legislators who voted for impeachment were each gifted a Rolls Royce?
If we follow this logic, they’ll be getting private jets next week and personal islands by Christmas! At this rate, fake news peddlers might as well report that Congress has been turned into a luxury car showroom.
So, our esteemed senators—those noble guardians of justice and democracy—have once again shown their unparalleled ability to decide a case before hearing any evidence. Incredible. Who needs due process when you can just declare your verdict in a press conference? Why waste time with witnesses, documents, and actual deliberation when political allegiance is all that matters?
Let’s be real: these senators aren’t jurors; they’re fan club members. Their job isn’t to seek justice but to protect their political idol at all costs. And by publicly announcing their decision in advance, they’ve turned the impeachment trial into a farcical theater production—one where the ending is already written.
If this is how they uphold the Constitution, we might as well replace the impeachment process with a group chat where they send thumbs-up emojis to their leader. At least that would save taxpayers some money. Shameful, indeed!
The Adobo Chronicles 
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