Ah, the Dutertes—keeping Philippine politics as colorful (and terrifying) as ever!

If there’s one thing this family does better than most, it’s issuing death threats like they’re giving out campaign freebies. First, you have the elder Duterte, the original tough-talking, curse-spewing leader, whose threats were always wrapped in a layer of plausible deniability—just jokes, folks! Then comes his daughter, Sara, who took things a notch higher with her “assassination” talk. Who knew political discourse in the Philippines would one day sound like a mafia movie script?

From the First Couple to the House Speaker to senatorial bets, it seems no one is safe—not from governance, but from potential elimination. And while their supporters might argue, “Ganyan talaga sila magsalita,” maybe, just maybe, public officials should sound less like gangsters and more like, well, leaders? Murder isn’t a joke—unless, of course, it’s a punchline in the Duterte playbook.