Sports

Gilas Pilipinas Doubtful About Their Gold Medals!

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MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – Members of Gilas Pilipinas basketball team, fresh from their triumphant victory at the 2023 ASIAD in China, are now questioning the authenticity of their gold medals.

Rumors have circulated that the medals might be mere gold-plated trinkets, fueling the age-old Filipino suspicion that anything “Made in China” is counterfeit. “It just seemed too shiny to be true,” said one perplexed player.

In response, the Chinese government assured the team that their medals were genuine, sparking laughter from the Filipinos who now suspect China may be trying to fake a sense of humor as well.

Food

Many Questions On Speaker Martin Romualdez’ ‘Malaya Rice Project’

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At least 2.5 million Filipinos will receive rice and financial aid in the next two weeks, according to House Speaker Martin Romualdez.

This is supposedly part of the Malaya Rice Project of the House of Representatives and Department of Social Work and Development (DSWD).

During a press briefing, Romualdez said he had asked 33 House members in Metro Manila to identify 10,000 indigent residents per legislative district who will initially receive the aid.

Sounds good right?

But wait, we just like to ask some questions:

  1. When have direct rice distribution and financial aid become a function of the legislative branch of government?
  2. Have funds been allocated and approved for this project? What are the sources of these funds?
  3. Sure, Romualdez says this is a joint project with the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) which is part off the executive branch. Shouldn’t the Office of the President be the one partnering with DSWD?
  4. There are photos being spread online about the alleged graphic design for the Malaya Rice Project bag which states that this is “A Project of Speaker Martin Romualdez.” Isn’t it too early to campaign for the 2028 presidential elections?
  5. On second thought, are the funds for this project coming from “confidential intelligence funds” that are simply being put to good use?
  6. Lastly, looking at the logo design for Malaya Rice, the acronym is MR. Martin Romaldez?

News Satire, Social Media

Adobo Chronicles Moves Up Two Notches, Now No. 24 Among The World’s Top 100 Satire Sites!

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Now we are quite convinced that there is no other way than UP! Despite our haters and detractors, including propagandist bloggers who say we are “without substance,” The Adobo Chronicles has moved up again this week — not by one notch, but two notches — among the world’s top 100 satire sites.

Just last week were at No. 26. This week, we are at No. 24.

We congratulate our AC team, Pol Pinoy, JAKE DON, Melchor Vergara, Brian Neyra, Mara Bratikova, and our in-house AI, ACAI.

But we wouldn’t get to where we are now — 10 years since our very first post — without our 28+Million viewers worldwide. We must also give credit to our critics because the more they talk (badly) about us, the more engaging we become.

Oh dear, we can’t believe we’re getting closer and closer to the world’s No. 1 satire site, The Onion, which was our inspiration (and still is) to publish The Adobo Chronicles.

Your best source of up-to-date, unbelievable news.