NUJP’s Selective Inconsistency

In a stunning display of selective defense, the National Union of Journalists of the Philippines (NUJP) has once again showcased its acrobatic prowess by contorting its principles to fit the occasion. 

While NUJP has historically positioned itself as the knight in shining armor for press freedom, it seems that their armor comes with a blind spot when it comes to certain media outlets.

The recent suspension of two SMNI News programs by the MTRCB should have been a slam dunk for NUJP, the self-proclaimed guardians of journalistic integrity. However, in a surprising twist, NUJP appears to have developed amnesia, conveniently forgetting its advocacy for press freedom when it comes to the Pastor Quiboloy network. 

It seems that when Maria Ressa, Rappler and news media allies are in the ring, NUJP is all too eager to jump in, but when it’s SMNI News, they’ve suddenly developed a case of responsible journalism amnesia.

All of a sudden, NUJP is concerned about “hate speech,” as if Rappler and other mainstream news outlets’ use of “son of a dictator” during the last presidential elections is a love fest.

One can’t help but marvel at NUJP’s impressive gymnastics routine, effortlessly flipping its stance depending on the media outlet in question. 

Perhaps they’ve added a new discipline to their repertoire: synchronized selective outrage.

This Christmas, Let’s Wish Jay Sonza The Divine Gift Of Reading Comprehension

by Melchor Vergara

In the latest episode of “Comedic Chronicles with Jay Sonza,” the P1 Million-a-month consultant of SMNI News demonstrates his unparalleled mastery of selective outrage and a stunning disregard for basic comprehension skills. In a daring quest to outshine the queen of intrigue, Cristy Fermin, Sonza takes aim at Bongbong Marcos, accusing him of intergalactic meddling or some such thing.

While Marawi City weeps in the background, Sonza, the intellectual acrobat, leaps effortlessly over facts and logic. Forget that the president condemned the Marawi bombing faster than you can say “headline grab.” Instead, let’s focus on the real threat to humanity – Bongbong’s covert operations in North Korea. Because, clearly, joining the United Nations in condemning missile launches is the modern equivalent of launching missiles.

In the grand circus of misinformation, Jay Sonza deserves a standing ovation for his breathtaking performance. Move over, logic; Sonza’s in town!

Columbia University Offers Filipinos Fully-paid Scholarships For A Degree In Biased Journalism!

In a groundbreaking move, Columbia University in New York proudly unveiled its latest educational endeavor – the Maria Ressa Biased Journalism Scholarship. The fully-paid, two-year program promises to hone students’ skills in selectively reporting facts and mastering the art of disinformation, all under the watchful gaze of Rappler CEO and Nobel Laureate Maria Ressa, whose reputation as the maestro of media bias precedes her.

This bold initiative follows hot on the heels of Rapplerette Lian Buan’s triumph in completing her Master of Laws in Human Rights, where she reportedly defended her dissertation by expertly denigrating her own country. 

The university, evidently inspired by such stellar examples, aims to produce a new generation of journalists adept at turning news into a finely crafted narrative, devoid of inconvenient truths.

The Maria Ressa Biased Journalism Scholarship: Because the truth is overrated, and journalism is an art best served with a healthy dose of partiality.

Your best source of up-to-date, unbelievable news.