In the theater of absurdity that is the defense of Rodrigo Duterte against ICC charges, it seems some key players are confusing the script. 

While the rest of us are waiting for the curtain to rise on a fair trial, former Duterte spokesperson Harry Roque and Senator Ronald “Bato” are already giving Oscar-worthy performances in presumption of guilt. It’s as if they’re rehearsing for a dystopian courtroom drama where the verdict is already written, and they’re just practicing their lines.

Roque’s preemptive doubts about Filipinos accepting their former president behind bars and Bato’s melodramatic fear of incarceration make one wonder if they’ve mistaken the courtroom for a psychic hotline. Last we checked, no convictions were handed down, no warrants issued, yet they seem to have a crystal ball that foretells an ominous future. 

Perhaps a crash course in legal basics is in order before they continue their over-the-top act of defending the indefensible.

In a stunning display of irony, the once unyielding Senator Bato de la Rosa, renowned for his fearless pursuit of justice during his tenure as police chief, now finds himself caught in a net of his own making. 

The man who made a career out of sending others to jail is singing a different tune, admitting to a newfound fear of incarceration. It seems the fish has finally been caught by its own mouth.

In a bizarre twist, Senator Bato is employing his grandchildren as scapegoats for his legal anxiety, claiming they will grow up ‘lolo-less’ if he faces the consequences of his actions. Netizens, ever the astute observers, respond with a chorus of LOLs, highlighting the absurdity of a once-mighty law enforcer fearing the very system he once championed. 

Perhaps, in this aquatic tale of political paradox, it’s not just the fish that bites back.