“TWIT” OR ‘TWERK” NO LONGER THE QUESTION

photoSan Francisco, California –  Ah, the power of television!  Just a couple of days after that much-talked about performance by former Disney singing star Miley Cyrus at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards (VMA), the word, “twerk” has gotten everyone to go berzerk. The performance featured Cyrus stripping down to flesh-colored bikinis and doing the twerk moves, best described as “the rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter.”

The word has just been added by Britain’s Oxford Dictionary, lending legitimacy to this urban lexicon.  Although “twerk” has been around for years, Oxford Dictionary didn’t decide to add the word until Miley “twerked” all over singer Robin Thicke’s man muscle at the VMAs.

In another unintended consequence of Miley’s performance, Twitter, the San Francisco-based online social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based messages of up to 140 characters, has decided on changing its name to “Twerker.” Twitter CEO Dick Costolo told The Adobo Chronicles that the company has been rethinking its name for quite some time now.  “People get confused on when to use “tweet” and “twit,” as they do when referring to the company name – “Twitter” or “Tweeter,” Costolo said.

Costolo said that seeing Cyrus perform at the VMAs, and the millions of tweets that followed her controversial performance helped convince Twitter to change  its name. “From hereon, there will be no more confusion among twitters, I mean tweeters,” Costolo pointed out. “Everybody will now be using one and the same term, “Twerk.”

ANOTHER U.S. MEDIA MERGER

onion-cnn-300x300Atlanta, Georgia – The bleeding in the country’s newsrooms never seems to stop.  All around the country, newsrooms are laying off personnel. Newspapers are paring down their circulation.  Television news networks are moving more and more towards entertainment content.  Above all, mergers between and among media companies are becoming a weekly occurrence.

The latest announced merger is between Cable News Network (CNN), the pioneer in 24-hour broadcast news, and  The Onion, the pioneer in organized news satire. Many in the journalism profession saw it coming, especially after CNN.com’s managing editor Meredith Artley appeared as a guest columnist in the latest issue of The Onion.  Artley’s column delved on why CNN.com made Miley Cyrus’ almost pornographic performance at the last Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards its top story on Monday.

CNN CEO Jeff Zucker, in making the announcement at the network’s headquarters in Atlanta, said that the merger of the two media outlets cannot be more perfect. “It’s a partnership made in heaven,” Zucker said.  “Time and again, consumers of news have seen the parallelism between the CNN and The Onion styles of reporting. Both outlets excel in entertainment, sensationalism, and fakery,” he added.

The Adobo Chronicles interviewed people on the street to get their reaction to the merger.  One avid news consumer was ecstatic, saying that “finally, I do not have to decide which news is true and which is fake.  Now I know to consider this one (merged) news source as totally fake.”

BIG CHANGE IN OSCAR CEREMONIES IN 2015

imageHollywood, California – Change is coming to the Academy Awards in 2015. Inspired by the bikini performances of Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards, the board of governors of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced not only a change in venue for the Oscars but the scrapping of the red carpet ceremonies.

The 2014 Oscar Awards to be hosted by Ellen DeGeneres will be the last ceremony to be held at the famed Dolby Theater (formerly the Kodak Theater) in Hollywood.  It will very well be the farewell performance of Joan Rivers, the red carpet queen. The reason? In 2015, the Oscar Awards ceremonies will be presented as a “beach party” in which the required attire for nominees, guests and spectators will be beach wear. This means the traditional red carpet ceremonies preceding the awards will be scrapped.

The board of governors said that the Academy members and worldwide viewers are tired of the boring red carpet which has produced some of the ugliest and ridiculous gowns and attire by the nominees and guests year after year.

Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs, the first African American to head this prestigious body, said that the new format is in keeping with the film trend which is seeing more and more frontal nudity among actors. “Eliminating the red carpet will move the focus away from fashion and into the real purpose of the awards, which is the recognition of outstanding achievement in film, ” Isaacs said. “Besides,” she added, “even Oscar (referring to the statuette) is not  wearing any clothes.”

Two venues are being considered for the 2015 “Beach” Oscar Ceremonies: the Santa Monica Board Walk and San Diego’s Seaworld.

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