The international uproar over biological males allegedly entering women’s boxing at the Paris Olympics is a melodrama for the ages. With no gender eligibility tests for just two athletes, the world’s gone bananas. Discrimination, you say? Why, the very notion!

Let’s pause to ponder the irony: biological male boxers face blatant sexism by being helmetless in the ring while their female counterparts are cosseted in cushy headgear. It’s as if male skulls come with an inbuilt airbag. Are we waiting for a headline-grabbing, tragic head injury to reinstate helmet requirements?

Meanwhile, the supposed infiltration of male athletes in women’s events sparks more outrage than the blatant disregard for male safety. Could it be the Olympics is less about fair play and more about sensationalism? Ah, the sweet hypocrisy of sports!