MAJORITY OF AMERICAN FOOTBALL FANS CAN’T COUNT IN ROMAN NUMERALS

bowlNew York, NY – With Super Bowl XLVIII just days away, the country’s leading poll organization, The Gallup Poll, released a new survey that showed Americans can’t find Yemen on the world map.  But that was not the most revealing result of the new poll. Part Two of the poll showed that Americans — football fans in particular — can’t count in Roman numerals.

There was only one multiple-choice question on the second part of the survey: “Which of the following Arabic numerals correspond to the Roman numerals XLVIII ?”  The choices were 28, 38, 48, 58 , 68, and “none of the above.”

Thirty percent of respondents answered 28; twenty five percent answered 38; fifteen percent answered 68, and ten percent answered 58.  Only 5% answered 48 which was the correct answer. The remaining fifteen percent answered “none of the above” because they didn’t know that the numbers 0123456789 were called “Arabic”numerals.  They thought that Arabic numerals referred to the special characters used in Yemen and the rest of the Arab world.

Upon learning of the poll results, the National Football League board of governors met in an emergency session to unanimously approve a resolution to change next year’s official Super Bowl name to “Super Bowl 49.”

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PRESIDENT OBAMA TO TACKLE JUSTIN BIEBER PETITION IN HIS STATE OF THE UNION

imageWashington, D.C. – Whether making a major policy speech, in the campaign trail, or in his annual State Of The Union, President Barack Obama is known to keep making changes and edits till the very last minute.  Tonight is no exception.

When he delivers his fifth State Of The Union tonight, Obama is reportedy adding a new paragraph that will respond to an online petition demanding the deportation of pop star Justin Bieber. Bieber, a Canadian citizen, has had many encounters with U.S. law enforcement, including his latest charges of and booking for DUI, resisting arrest and drag racing. The petition also asks for the revocation of Bieber’s green card.

The petition, posted on The White House “We The People” website, is nearing 100,000 signatures, the threshold that would elicit an official White House response.

The new paragraph is reportedly being inserted into the part where Obama addresses the issue of immigration reform.

To learn more about the online petition, visit petitions.whitehouse.gov

YMCA SHOCKED BY RESULTS OF ITS MEMBER SURVEY

photoChicago, Illinois – There was a time when YMCA was the top fitness and health club in the United States.  Over the last decade, however, YMCA’s ranking has been slipping, thanks to aggressive marketing strategies pursued by newer clubs like 24 Hour Fitness, Club One, Fitness 19 and Bally Total Fitness. Unlike its top competitors, the “Y” has been slow to resort to social media in its membership campaign. This could very well be the reason that the club is not reaching the younger generation of gym enthusiasts.

As part of its efforts to revitalize its club facilities nationwide, YMCA has enlisted the support of its current members to recruit family and friends, offering financial incentives for every new member they sign-up. To launch this membership campaign, YMCA has sent a survey to all its existing members asking them how they learned about the club, as a way to determine the best medium to advertise for new recruitment.

As completed surveys started pouring into the national headquarters in Chicago, YMCA’s communications and marketing departments could not believe what they are seeing in the survey. On the question “How did you hear about the YMCA,” a whopping 65% of respondents said “Village People.”

The “Y” is reportedly considering to hire the 70’s American disco group to headline its new advertising campaign. The campaign’s meme? “It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.”

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