Sports | The Adobo Chronicles

Lausanne, Switzerland – Coming under intense pressure from participating countries in the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, the International Olympics Committee (IOC) today made a stunning announcement that no one had ever anticipated.

International sentiment has been growing each day since news of the Russian government’s crackdown on homosexuality in what was once part of the Sovet Union first broke out. This government crackdown was prompted by recent draconian laws that make the promotion of the homosexual lifestyle within Russian borders not only illegal but subject to the persecutional whims of the police and military.

Concerned about potential boycotts by Olympic teams from a huge number of countries, the IOC issued an unprecedented ruling that involves a mandatory attire for all athletes, delegates and media representatives attending the winter games.

The IOC ruling requires all athletes, delegates and media representatives to wear a special official jacket during the games’ opening and closing ceremonies, and throughout the 17-day competitions. The official jacket features the colors of the gay rainbow flag , emblazoned with the Olympic rings logo (see photo).

Russian president Vladimir Putin has not issued any statement in reaction to the IOC announcement.

Lausanne, Switzerland – Amid mounting pressure from human rights organizations that have condemned Russia’s escalating crackdown on homosexuality, the International Olympic Committee today decided to move the 2014 Winter Olympics from Sochi, Russia, to Honolulu, Hawaii. The dates remain unchanged, February 7-23, 2014.

The IOC reached the decision as more and more sponsors like VISA, Coca-Cola, McDonald’s and Samsung, started withdrawing their financial support for the international sports event, in protest of Russia’s homophobic stance.

IOC officials, speaking at a hastily-convened press conference after a whirlwind visit to Honolulu over the weekend, said that only a world-class destination like Hawaii can pull off preparations for the Winter Olympics in such short notice. Instead of building an Olympic Village, Honolulu will provide tents and outdoor showers for all athletes and delegation members from participating countries. Honolulu will cordon off 5 miles of Waikiki beach for this purpose.

The Blaisdell Arena will serve as the main venue for all the indoor sports events. It can easily accommodate an Olympic-sized ice rink, of course using artificial ice. All outdoor events will be held at the Diamond Head Volcano which will be fully covered with artificial snow.

Honolulu mayor Kirk Caldwell promises the most spectacular opening ceremony in the history of the Winter Olympics, saying that he has enlisted the participation of all the hula halaus and surfing clubs in the entire Rainbow State. Instead of a closing ceremony, Caldwell said that Honolulu will host the largest luau Hawaii has ever seen. “It will be one for the Guinness Book of World Records,” he added.