(NOT SATIRE: statement from our publisher)

All my Facebook accounts have been suspended. I can see other people’s posts, but I can’t post and I can’t comment. I can’t even “like” a post by others. My ability to privately send messages to individuals or Messenger groups I belong to has also been cut off.

And all because the Internet police at Facebook tell me I violated their community standards.

At first, my suspension was to be in effect for three days, but when I requested a review of my suspension, not only did they confirm my suspension, they increased it to 7 days!

(Moral of the story: don’t request Facebook for a review of your account suspension; they’ll only increase the period of that suspension.)

Facebook’s “community standards” are in themselves, a fallacy.  They list general guidelines on what would constitute a violation of those standards, but they don’t tell you exactly how your post fits into one or more of those listed in their guidelines.

Sure, they give you the option to challenge your suspension by simply checking a box that says you’re requesting for a review without any space or mechanism for you to explain why you think your suspension was not warranted.

I run a news satire page, The Adobo Chronicles. If the intelligent people at Facebook did their research, they will realize that satire is meant to ‘offend’ and to ridicule, oftentimes by way of exaggeration, humor or sarcasm. That’s very different from hate speech.

Even in my main Facebook page, I describe myself as a ‘satirist’ so even many of my personal posts border on sarcasm.  At times, I use offensive words or phrases precisely to ridicule other people who use those exact words and phrases for their personal or political agenda.   I simply provide those people with a mirror so they could look at themselves.

I have no choice but to accept Facebook’s decision to suspend my account. It will cut me off from the wonderful people I interact with through my various FB pages.  But one thing is for sure: Facebook can’t silence me.  Like water flowing down a river, I will find my way — pebbles, rocks and other obstructions notwithstanding — until I find a level where I could sit and be calm, knowing I have made a difference.

(And if you think any what I said makes sense — and your Facebook account is not in suspension — please feel free to share this. On Facebook.)

MANILA, Philippines (The Adobo Chronicles, Manila Bureau) – The crowd-sourced Urban Dictionary has added a new word: Ressa.

Inspired by the true-to-life Maria Ressa, CEO of Rappler, the new listing defines Ressa as a noun that means: a cheat, liar, tax-evader.

It is also an adjective that means: delusional, attention-deficient, fake.

A spokesperson for Rappler told The Adobo Chronicles that a champagne reception was held at the online news source’ s offices to celebrate their boss’ inclusion in the dictionary. “It’s another feather on her cap,” he said.