Welcome to the Kingdom of Davao, where political dynasties thrive as naturally as the durian fruit. For over 30 years, the Duterte family has held the mayoralty hostage, and it seems they’re not loosening their grip anytime soon.

Now, in an almost Shakespearean twist, Rodrigo Duterte, the patriarch himself, seeks yet another term as mayor—because apparently seven just isn’t enough. And what better way to ensure the dynasty’s future than by naming his son, Basté, the current mayor, as his vice-mayoral running mate? This way, even if something “unforeseen” happens to Rodrigo, a Duterte will still keep the throne warm. Brilliant, right?

But let’s entertain the what-ifs. If Rodrigo, heaven forbid, gets disqualified or dies before the 2025 elections, worry not! The family has a backup plan. Perhaps Sara can be thrust back into the fray, or even Paolo, the family’s loyal “spare.” Kitty, of course, will have to wait a few years before her debut in this political relay race. After all, she’s still in the grooming phase.

So, fear not, Davaoeños. The Dutertes have got it covered, ensuring the Kingdom of Davao remains under their steadfast rule, for generations to come.