Ah, the art of the half-truth—Mark Lopez wields it with the finesse of a swordsman who only sharpens one side of his blade. 

In his latest caps-locked magnum opus, he boldly proclaims that the Iglesia Ni Cristo (INC) is rallying nationwide against VP Sara Duterte’s impeachment. Conveniently, he omits the part where the INC aligns with President Bongbong Marcos’ stance against the same impeachment. But why spoil a perfectly good narrative with the full picture, right? Half an apple is all he needs to stage his twisted feast for the gullible.Lopez’s selective storytelling is almost poetic. It’s like watching a magician who reveals just enough of the trick to dazzle the audience but keeps the sleight of hand out of sight. 

The INC’s actual position? A mere footnote—irrelevant to the grand spectacle of his narrative gymnastics. Because why bother with context when all-caps outrage garners more clicks?

In the end, this isn’t about informing the public. It’s about feeding the algorithm, fanning division, and building a loyal echo chamber. And if the apple of truth is half-sweet, half-sour? Lopez will only serve the sugary slice, leaving his audience with a saccharine lie that rots the mind.

The Kingdom of Jesus Christ, in a stunning revelation, has declared it will no longer grace Maisug rallies with its divine presence, citing a renewed focus on its “evangelical mission.” 

One can only assume that for years, its mission involved waving placards for political dynasties, because what better way to spread the Good Word than by supporting the oligarchical ambitions of the Dutertes? 

Clearly, salvation was temporarily on hold, sacrificed for a front-row seat at political rallies. But now, lo and behold, the light has dawned, and the Kingdom has realized that perhaps their time is better spent on, you know, religion. 

With their exit, the already tiny crowds will likely shrink to a level that rivals an early morning prayer group. One must wonder: will the Duterte rallies now be as empty as their promises? Ah well, every kingdom has its limits