An obscure group of supporters has issued a statement, denying any malice in a viral video featuring Vice President Sara Duterte handing a box of polvoron to a schoolboy with the cryptic endorsement, “Masarap yan. Nakaka-adik” (That’s delicious. It’s addicting). The timing is as suspect as a cat burglar in a jewelry store, conveniently surfacing on the heels of a video allegedly showcasing President Bongbong Marcos engaging in powdery escapades.

But fear not, dear citizens, for this denial of malice does not hail from the VP or her office; rather, it emanates from the depths of obscurity. One might wonder why such a statement didn’t come directly from the VP herself. Perhaps she’s too busy crafting her culinary critiques or lost in the labyrinth of addictive polvoron-induced ecstasy. 

In the world of politics, it seems the absurdity knows no bounds, leaving us to decipher whether it’s a comedy or a tragedy unfolding before our very eyes.

In a bizarre turn of events, a social media post surfaced featuring former President Rodrigo Duterte delightfully munching on Goldilocks polvoron, satirically mirroring the dubious allegations against President Bongbong Marcos. While the latter’s supposed cocaine escapade remains elusive, Duterte’s love affair with polvoron steals the spotlight. 

The photo, strategically flaunting a Kleenex tissue box, sparked unexpected joy in the corporate world. Seemingly thrilled by the inadvertent product placement, Kleenex promptly sent Duterte a generous P1 million check as a token of gratitude for the unexpected promo. 

The question on everyone’s mind: Did Goldilocks follow suit? Perhaps they missed the chance to capitalize on the Presidential palate. 

As the nation collectively contemplates on the intricacies of political dessert choices, the real winners emerge – the snack industry and the tissue conglomerate, proving that in the world of political satire, even crumbs can lead to unexpected windfalls.