Amidst the recent whimsical whispers of Mindanao parting ways with the Philippines, one can’t help but chuckle at the sheer naivety akin to a child playing make-believe. 

The notion of a seamless separation, as effortless as a celebrity breakup, is as laughable as it is ludicrous. Crafting a new nation isn’t a weekend DIY project; it’s a Herculean task requiring more than just wishful thinking: a new Constitution, new government, new police and military, socio-economic and political restructuring, border control, international recognition, a plebiscite/referendum. The list goes on…

It’s akin to suggesting that forming a new country is as simple as counting to three, conveniently forgetting the countless complexities involved. One might as well believe in unicorns and leprechauns.

The parallels drawn to the ill-fated bid for the Philippines to become the 51st state of the USA are as comical as they are cautionary. History serves as a reminder that fantasies don’t easily translate into reality, especially when it comes to geopolitical restructuring.

So, let’s put away the rose-tinted glasses and return to the realm of rationality before we find ourselves chasing rainbows with empty hands.

In the wild and wacky world of Rodrigo Duterte, consistency is as rare as a unicorn sighting in Manila traffic. 

The man’s ability to flip-flop faster than a fish out of water would make even the most seasoned politicians dizzy. 

One moment he’s accusing Marcos of being a drug-addled menace, the next he’s cozying up to him like long-lost amigos at a karaoke bar. And let’s not forget his dance with the International Criminal Court (ICC), where he ping-pongs between bravado and panic (if we were to believe his former spokesperson) faster than you can say “extrajudicial.” It’s like watching a soap opera where the plot twists are as predictable as a typhoon in the Philippines. 

Duterte’s inconsistency is so consistent, it’s practically become his trademark. 

Perhaps we should commend him for his dedication to keeping us on our toes, or maybe we should just invest in some motion sickness pills for the rollercoaster ride that is he subjects us to. Either way, one thing’s for sure: with Duterte, the only thing you can count on is that you can’t count on anything.