Category Archives: Politics

Roque Family Affair: He Said, She Said, He Said

In the latest episode of *”He Said, She Said, He Said”*, the Roque family drama takes center stage in Congress, where Harry Roque, former Duterte spokesperson, finds himself entangled in accusations linking him to illegal POGO operations. 

Roque, ever the eloquent litigator, dramatically accuses lawmakers of “ruining his family.”

His wife Mylah, however, swiftly counters, proclaiming with indignation that *nobody*, least of all Congressman Barbers, has the power to declare her family “ruined” — though, she left out the part about who actually could.

Enter AR dela Serna, whose contribution to the debate was a masterclass in ambiguity: “I’m not sure, Your Honor.” Riveting stuff. Will someone please remind him if he’s a witness or just auditioning for a telenovela? 

As Congress debates who ruined whose family and what exactly the truth is, one thing’s clear: *everyone* is confused—and entertained. 

Stay tuned for next week’s thrilling installment of “He Said, She Said…He Forgot.”

People Power: A Maisug Weather Forecast Gone Terribly Awry

In the days leading up to September 21, the Maisug movement confidently declared a “storm” of people power headed straight for Malacañang, forecasting gale-force protests that would topple Marcos Jr. just like his father. The metaphorical “typhoon” was expected to sweep the palace clean, with wind gusts of righteousness and torrential downpours of justice.

But as September 21 came and went, the only storm brewing was in teacups. No flooding of protests, no winds of change, not even a political drizzle. The roads to Malacañang remained clear, and the only trees standing were metaphors waiting to fall.

Apparently, the forecast was just as reliable as your local weatherman—predicting rain on a cloudless day. Marcos Jr., it seems, has a political umbrella big enough to withstand even the fiercest imaginary storms. Maybe next time, the Maisug movement should check the Doppler radar before announcing another weather disturbance.

Weird Alliances: Marcos-Duterte-Robredo

In Philippine politics, the phrase “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” isn’t just a suggestion—it’s a way of life. 

Take Sara Duterte’s recent “spontaneous” coffee date with Leni Robredo, a meet-up more surprising than seeing snow in Manila. The irony is thicker than election mudslinging, considering Sara’s camp, the UniTeam, spent months demonizing Robredo and her *kakampinks*. But hey, why hold a grudge when you can share some *pandesal*?

And let’s not forget Rodrigo Duterte, who’s suddenly feeling warm and fuzzy about Bongbong Marcos, the guy he once dismissed as a “weak” president-in-waiting with alleged vices. Duterte’s about-face is as dizzying as his war on drugs. Apparently, political amnesia is a superpower our leaders possess—after all, why remember past insults when a new alliance could be profitable?

In Philippine politics, there are no permanent enemies, only temporary inconveniences. If tomorrow, the ghost of Ninoy Aquino called a press conference with Ferdinand Marcos Sr. to announce a coalition, we probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. Because here, in the land of *balimbing* fruit, consistency is a rare and overrated commodity. Cheers to the next “spontaneous” partnership!